During the monologue, Dave takes an exit poll: How many voted for Kerry? How many voted for Bush? The audience sided with Bush. People love to be with a winner.

Project Bandaloop is making a return to the Late Show, having to cancel last Friday's performance due to rain. Tonight looks much better. Project Bandaloop is a dance troupe that combines the techniques of mountain climbing with dance choreography. They'll be dancing on the side of the wall of the Ed Sullivan Theater office building high above Broadway.

GEORGE W. BUSH CREEPY EYEBROW: From an October 20th speech in Minnesota. Looking into the crowd, the President gives the creepy eyebrow. Two weeks later he was re-elected President.

FRIDAY'S CBS MAILBAG:
LETTER #1: From Michelle Gerry of Jackson, Mississippi
"Dear Dave, When is 'The Late Show with David Letterman' being released on DVD?"
To the surprise of many, the Late Show does have a DVD coming out just in time for the holidays. It will include all the funny things we've ever done on the show. Dave holds up the attractive DVD of all our hilarious moments. He opens it and finds the DVD to be the size of a half dollar.
Get it? It's really really small, much smaller than one would expect a DVD to be. For those who may not realize if, Dave points out that "This is quality comedy."

LETTER #2: From Troy Sims of Wichita Falls, Texas
"Dave, Why does it seem that you get to hug all the pretty girls, but Paul never gets to?"
Dave admits this to be true. Dave looks towards the guest entrance to check to see if the Late Show models are here tonight. Dave shows what the letter writer mean when he wrote how Dave gets to hug all the pretty girls. The models enter and Dave makes his way over to the young lovelies and embraces them both. The Late Show models exit. But what about Paul. Can't he get a chance to hug a model? Dave thinks Paul should be able to hug a model. Dave introduces a model for Paul to hug. Out lumbers a lumbering lumberjack-looking guy. Dave explains that he models work boots for Sears. Paul looks and decides, "I'll pass."

WEATHER INFO:
Temperature: 43 degrees
Humidity: 51%
Barometric Pressure: 30.13 inches and falling
Wind: from the northwest at 10 mph
Visibility: 10 miles

Dave offers this information for the upcoming Project Bandaloop performance.

LETTER #3: From Christopher Hurley of Boone, North Carolina
"Dear Dave, Have you ever wanted to be President?"
No, Dave has never wanted to be President, but was impressed with the way John Kerry is handling his defeat. He may have conceded the election but he is no quitter. Dave has a video clip of what he means.
Announcer: "He fought honorably as a Navy officer in Vietnam.
He championed justice as lieutenant governor of Massachusetts.
He served 4 terms in the United States Senate.
And now, John Kerry asks for your support in his bid to become President . . . . of Iraq! Paid for by Kerry-Makhmalbaf 2004."

LETTER #4: From Steve Vitullo of Terre Haute, Indiana
"Why does Rupert always pick an attractive girl to be on the show?"
Good question. We turn on the camera in Rupert's to get the answer. Rupert responds in a loud, angry, and obnoxious manner.
Rupert: "Why do I pick attractive women? Because Rupert's all about nailing hot chicks! Know what I'm saying, Steve, you pansy? Rupert loves getting his freak on with these deli whores!"
A somewhat startled Dave says, "Uh, Rupert, I gotta be honest. This is a different side of you than what we're used to seeing."
Rupert: "Yeah, I've been listening to these tapes --- 'Bill O'Reilly's Guide to Harrassin' Women." (Rupert holds up audio book.)

And that was mailbag for tonight.

WILL IT FLOAT: Item - a 4 pound jar of grape jelly. Dave says it will sink. Paul says it will float. The girls drop the 4 pound jar of grape jelly into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . . SINKS! Oh, joy! The Will It Float party will be simply grand tonight!

Where was Kiva tonight? Oh, let's just leave it that she had a prior commitment.

TOP TEN: Ways to Mispronounce Barack Obama
- Barack Obama is the newly elected United States Senator from Illinois.
- He was the keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention.
- He is the rising star in the Democratic party.
#10. Dalai Lama
#9. Rocky Balboa
#8. Baked Alaska
#7. Lions and Tigers and Barack Obama
#6. Conan O'Bama
#5. Affleck Box Office Bomb-a.
#4. Jerry Orbach
#3. Bahama Mama
#2. Jacko's llama
#1. Bandaloop

PAUL REUBENS: Hey, that's not Paul Reubens! That's Pee-Wee Herman! Paul Reubens was a guest on Dave's old show once every 2 months it seemed. In fact, when I went to my only Late Night show, (March 1984?), Paul Reubens as Pee-Wee was a guest.
Paul tells the story of buying a TV not too long ago. After lugging the TV to the car for Paul, the salesman says to him "Man, you really chunked out!" Paul sort of chuckled and admitted he may have filled out over the years. The guy followed with, "No, you really chuncked out!" Paul tried to ignore the guy, simply wanting his TV in the car, but the guy continued time and again, "Man, you really really chunked out!" After hearing that a few more times, Paul quickly got out of there. Unfortunately, now whenever Paul looked at his new TV he thought, "Man, I really chunked out." Paul decided to return that TV and get a different one.
Paul says that he was such a big fan of the TV show "Frasier" that he decided to start seeing a therapist. After his first visit, the female psychiatrist suggested he come 3 times a week. So he did. And every time for 8 months, 3 times a week, the psychiatrist would start the session with "Would you care for some coffee?" Every time. Finally after 8 months, Paul decided to confront her. "For 8 months I've been telling you I don't drink coffee, yet you ask me if I want coffee before every session." The psychiatrist says she doesn't really remember what one client says from the next. Paul decided this would be a good time to get up and get out.
Two months after that, he finds out that the psychiatrist was now working as a stewardess, seeing patents on the side. Paul says he lives in fear that she'll come up to him on a flight and say, "Would you care for some coffee?"
Paul Reuben's 5 years of "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" is now out on a two-set DVD. It's nutty fun. If you've never seen this show, you're missing something. Odd? Very. Entertaining? Absolutely.

EVANGELINE LILLY: She's Canadian and she hugs fellow Canadian Paul Shaffer on the way out. She probably got the idea stemming from mailbag. She now lives in Hawaii. Dooooohhhhh! How can anybody live in Hawaii? Where do you go from there? Is there anyplace better? When you live in Hawaii and get married, where do you go on your honeymoon? Someplace better? There is no place better.
Evangeline is in the ABC series, "Lost." From what little I know about the show, I think it's like a scripted Survivor. A plane crashed on a deserted island and now the survivors have to learn how to survive and get along.
"Lost" is Evangeline's first working experience in television . . . . sort of. Before this she worked on a phone chat line, a legitimate phone chat line, for the lonely. She made a commercial for it and it is still running. We see the clip. Damn, I wish I had a pen and paper when we ran it.
Dave admires Evangeline's teeth, rating them near perfect. Evangeline admits to one of her teeth in front being a fake, losing it in an childhood accident. Dave says he too has a fake tooth. He reaches into this mouth and yanks it out to show Evangeline. Not every man would do that.

ACT 5: It's Project Bandaloop preparing for their performance high above Broadway.

PROJECT BANDALOOP: Part Batman and Robin, part Spider-man, part Fred Astaire, part Lionel Ritchie. Hanging from ropes, the Bandaloopers swing and sway to the music in a ballet-like manner. It was a big event out on Broadway and the Great White Way.

And that was our show for Friday, November 12, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

"Lost" was in the newspaper this morning. Seems some of the viewers are beginning to question a continuity problem. One of the survivors stranded on the island is named Hurley, a guy close to 300 pounds. How is it that he is stranded on this deserted island and yet he's not losing weight? I may have to watch just to monitor the situation.

And speaking of fat guys and losing weight, I may have stumbled upon my new favorite show of the week. It's a reality show called "Big Fat Loser" on NBC. It consists of 2 teams, 6 fat people on each side. Each week we see which team loses the most weight. The team that loses the most weight gains immunity; the team that lost less weight must kick out one of their teammates. In the episode I saw, the most successful guy at losing weight was voted out because the others thought he lost all he was going to lose. The big fat guy who didn't lost that much weight was kept on because the others thought he had the potential to lose a lot more weight. The voting is done in a room like the board room in The Apprentice. We see who each participant voted to kick out when they lift the top off a covered dish to reveal the name. When the vote is final, the light illuminating the automat-like pie display with the person's name is turned off. Oh what a hoot this was. So lame. So bad.

Early reports indicate that the Montreal Expos Major League Baseball team that is moving to Washington DC will be called the Washington Nationals. Gee. That town really breeds creativity, doesn't it. What would you name a Washington DC baseball team? The Senators name still belongs to the Texas Rangers, who moved to Texas from Washington in . . . . . 1972 (?). It's just a guess, 1972. Let's see how I did. (googling) DING! It was 1972.

Warning: This may be boring, but I found it fascinating.
The Washington Senators were an American League team from 1901-1960. They were officially the Washington Nationals. After the 1960 season, the team moved to Minnesota and became the Minnesota Twins. Here's the part I don't get . . . .
Washington lost their team to Minnesota in 1961 . . . . but picked up an expansion team the same year, also named the Washington Senators. They last till 1971 where they then moved to Texas in 1972.
Why would a city lose a team and pick up a team the same year? My guess is the 1960 Senators owner was Calvin Griffith (Griffin?) He wanted to move to Minnesota but the other owners wanted a team in the nation's capital. They compromised, allowing Griffith's Senators to move to Minnesota and a new team was given to Washington. I won't be looking it up now but it's something I'll do eventually.

To celebrate U-Haul's 60th Anniversary, a U-Haul story from Bob Follansbee of Dorchester, Massachusetts.

"In the summer of 1981, my girlfriend and I were driving our doctoral advisor's Renault Le Car from Cambridge, MA to Palo Alto, CA. Despite the questionable reputation and size of this car for such a long-distance trip, we decided to take a scenic route through southern Canada to BC, then south. Amazingly we made it as far as northern California when the engine started to overheat on I-5. It was late on a Friday afternoon and we had hoped to roll into the bay area later that night, but we had to pull off in Chico. The car was still a little driveable, but we'd never get it to SF. After determining that the car couldn't get fixed until the following Monday (while our advisor needed the car on Sunday as a drop dead date) we explored other options, but finally hit on this one: We rented a U-Haul truck, drove the car onto a railroad freight dock siding via a ramp, backed the truck up to the siding (perfect fit!), backed the car into the truck, blocked the tires, and away we went to Palo Alto. There was lots of movement from the back of the truck, but the pesky Le Car stayed put, never squirted out, didn't even move sideways! When we arrived we didn't want to go to U-Haul with a car inside their truck, so we drove around for hours looking for another railroad dock to offload the car. None to be found!!! so we enventually went to U-Haul, fessed up, and they found us a tow truck with one of those sloping beds--it was the first time I'd ever seen one of those. With their help we were able to get the car out of the truck, keep the U-Haul people, and more importantly our advisor, happy, and avoid hundreds or thousands of dollars in other expenses. Happy ending."