If the weather permits, later tonight we’ll enjoy a performance from Project Bandaloop, a dance troupe that combines rock climbing techniques and dance choreography. They’ll be dancing on the front side of the Ed Sullivan Theater office building if the rain keeps up. Keeps up? Yeah, keeps up so it won’t come down.

I’m sorry. That was a bad bad joke. It was told to me by my mom probably 40 years ago. Hey look, mom, your joke got on the Wahoo Gazette!

Dave calls for the Dopler radar. This may shed light on the weather conditions later in the show. In the meantime, Dave holds up a photo of Batman and Robin scaling the side of a wall from their old TV show. I’m not sure but I think this is was inspiration behind Project Bandaloop.

GEORGE W. BUSH ECONOMIC EXPERT:
- From an October 26th campaign stop in Richland Center, Wisconsin.

- Bush: “Part of our tax plan was to help . . . . uhhh . . . . . was to help . . . . families better afford . . . . . . . . . . . life.”

I think it was this speech than won Wisconsin for Bush.

CBS MAILBAG
LETTER #1: From Matt Davis of Baltimore, Maryland:
“Dear Dave, do you think Florida is going to screw things up again this November?”
Election Day has come and gone without much of a hitch and so Dave surmises that Florida didn’t screw things up this time. Our head carpenter Harold Larkin is a Florida resident and earlier in the day he told Dave an interesting story about his voting in Florida on Tuesday. According to Harold, Florida has a new state-of-the-art, computerized voting system. They were surprisingly user-friendly. Harold rubs his chin, which is the universal sign to go to a gliss and a memory sequence. We cut to a clip. We find Harold waiting on line to vote. He approaches the booth, studies his choices, and prepares to make perhaps the most important vote of his life. He slowly points with his index finger to make his choice. Harold says, “Okay, I’m voting for him.” We cut to the voting booth and see a guy squatting inside looking out a little hole cut-out. The guy inside, with a pen and pad, points to a name on his clipboard and asks, “Him?” Harold responds, “Yes, him.” The guy inside the box says, “Great. The state of Florida thanks you for voting. Have a nice day.”

We’re you like me? When you saw the guy crammed into the voting booth and looking out the small cut-out, did you think of Larabee, Agent 13?

LETTER #2: From Brad Jacobs of Royal Oak, Michigan:
“Dave, do you think Martha Stewart will get out of jail early for good behavior?”
Dave hopes that Martha will be getting out soon. In fact, so interested was Dave in Martha’s incarceration, he arranged to have her here tonight to enlighten us on how her state in the Alderson Federal Prison is going after nearly a month. Dave introduces Ms. Martha. The band plays, the camera cuts to the guest entrance. The band plays some more. The camera waits, but no Martha. The camera cuts back to Dave who wonders, “Where’s Martha?” The camera goes around the corner of the guest entrance and, horrors! The uniformed security guard lies injured on the ground, a bloody knife sticking out of his chest. We can see an open handcuff attached to his wrist. The guard moans, “The bitch shivved me and took off!”

Dave concludes that, yes, it looks like Martha will be getting out early.

LETTER #3: From Joel McMurray of London, Ontario, Canada:
“Dear Dave, Have you made any plans for the holidays yet?”
Dave is once again surprised how the holidays sneak up on him year after year. He didn’t even realize what time of year it was until he say something on the television today. We see the clip he was talking about.

It’s Charlie Brown and his pal Linus. It is snowing out. The two are by a brick wall talking about life.

CHARLIE BROWN: “Looks like I messed up again.”
LINUS: “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Charlie Brown.”
CHARLIE BROWN: “I screwed up Valentine’s Day, I screwed up Halloween, and now I’ve gone and screwed up Ramadan.”
LINUS: “Oh, Charlie Brown. Ramadan isn’t about gifts and parties. It’s about renewing our devotion to Allah through prayer, fasting, and acts of charity.”
Cut to Charlie Brown gang dance scene. Graphic appears, A Charlie Brown Ramadan.

LETTER #4: From Corey Atcheson of Northwood, Iowa:
“Do you rent Alan for parties?”
Dave says he has heard that Alan does do some entertaining at parties on the weekends. He asks Alan for confirmation. Alan says it’s true, adding, “A lot of women hire Big Red to spice up their bachelorette parties. In fact, I had a wild one last weekend . . .” Alan rubs his chin, which is the universal sign to . . . blah blah blah.

We see Alan approaching 4 lovely young ladies lined up in a row. Alan seductively asks, “So, which one of you ladies is getting married?” One of the woman points off-camera and says, “She’s over there.”

Alan looks off-camera and begins in his sexual, white-hot way to unbutton his shirt.

Alan coos, “Tradition suggests you get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. But tonight you’re gonna get something big and something red.” Cut to whom Alan is speaking. It is a wedding scene; groom, bride, best man and ushers, church filled with guests. The groom looks over at Alan and says, “Who the ‘givl’ are you?” An now nervous Alan says, “I’m the entertainment.”

The groom and the ushers grab the misunderstood neon-noggin and rush him out the back of the church.

And that was Mailbag for tonight.

We have the Dopler radar! Dave takes a look at the radar and says, “I can’t tell what that means.” He adds, “I’m not afraid of the rain. I’m afraid of the green stuff.” If the Bandaloop people can’t perform in the rain, I’m pretty sure they won’t be able to perform in the green stuff either.

Back from commercial, Dave once again states the Bandaloop performance will depend on the weather. We take another look at the Dopler radar. Still not sure what it means.

WILL IT FLOAT?
Tonight’s Will It Float item: a gallon of Karo’s Dark Corn Syrup in a plastic jug.

Dave guesses it will float. Paul agrees. The Will It Float girls drop the item into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . . SINKS!

AL FRANKEN: Is he mulling a run for U.S. Senator in the state of Minnesota? Al’s media advisor has told him not to say anything, but admits many of told him that, “I’m fairly articulate, I know a lot about policy, I’m married . . . once . . . and I’m very good looking. Very good looking.” Put that all together and you got yourself a winner in Minnesota. Al says he understands that running and becoming a U.S. Senator will keep him away from his family . . . . and that’s exactly the reason why he’s considering it.

What’s the deal with Bill O’Reilly? Al has decided to take the “high-road” on the sexual harassment scandal in which Mr. O’Reilly is involved and has tried to keep from commenting on it, hard as that is. Al points out that the suit was settled for millions of dollars, and both parties said there was no wrong-doing, “so I guess he didn’t do it.” He adds that the fact millions of dollars was involved suggests that maybe she may have had tapes . . . . and how a sex scandal may have hurt his chances to successfully promote his children’s book. Al is amazed how millions of dollars can create the reality that nothing happened.

How about the election? For the rest of the segment, Al tries to explain the Electoral College to Dave. I don’t think it was getting through. Wyoming has 3 votes in the Electoral College. New York has 31. The Electoral College was set up to keep the power to elect from resting solely with the highly populated areas.

You can hear Al Franken on his radio show on Air America. In the New York area, it can be found at 1190 on the A.M. dial.

KRISTEN BELL: She’s from the UPN’s Veronica Mars program. She was here at the Ed Sullivan Theater once before about 6 years ago as a member of the studio audience. And now she’s a guest on the show.

All of you who have been in our studio audience --- take a moment right now and pretend that someday you’ll be a guest on the show with Dave.

Done? Sorry, ain’t gonna happen.

Kristen is from Detroit, a hockey town, and is very upset at the NHL hockey strike that’s going on. I was impressed with Kristen and I know she’s a real hockey fan because she didn’t call it a “strike.” She correctly called stoppage a “lock out.”

Kristen recently went skydiving for the first time in Florida. It was one of those tandem deals. She says there were about 10 instructors, 9 of which looked like solid, strong guys, with a lot on the ball. The 10th guy was a dorky looking guy with a giant curly blue clown wig. She knew immediately that she would be going on the skydive with him. And that’s how it turned out. The good news is she survived, evident by her being here tonight.

You can see Kristen on the UPN’s Veronica Mars. Dave asks, “And how does one get the UPN?” Kristen looks at Dave a bit puzzled. “The UPN? Where, how does one pick that up on the TV?” She lets Dave know it’s a regular network on regular TV.

FYI: Here in New York it’s channel 9.

ACT 5: A Late Show Announcement!
Guests of the Late Show stay at the Ramada Hotel Airport North in Atlanta, Georgia. The Ramada Airport North offers complimentary coffee and muffin bar and fitness center. The Ramada Hotel Airport North in Atlanta, Georgia: Where Business Meets Pleasure.
This has been a Late Show Announcement.

PROJECT BANDALOOP: Unfortunately, the inclement weather has forced us to postpone the Project Bandaloop performance. From the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater Office building, the group’s Artistic Director Amelia Rudolph explains a bit about the Rock Climbing/Dance Troupe. Dave invites them back to perform sometime next week.

And that was our show for Friday November 5, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I lived a simple New York City scene this morning. I’m looking for a place to park car and I see one on the Avenue. I lightly toot my horn at the double-parked yellow cab so he can move forward to give me room to parallel park. He refuses to move. I get out of my car to kindly explain my motives to the cab driver. He tells me his car is on the fritz and it won’t budge. I tell him to put in neutral and I’ll push. I huff the yellow cab 20 feet up hill. I run back to my car and perform the exemplary parallel park. If you want to drive in New York City, you have to learn how to parallel park. In fact, I’ve been driving so long in New York City now, it’s easier to parallel park then it is to spell it.

I’m watching the Charlie Rose show on the PBS Thursday night. He’s talking to someone about the Bush Administration and the war in Iraq. What was actually said, I don’t know. When I watch the Charlie Rose show, my attention is usually focused on other things.
One is the pitch-black background.
Two is the crystal clear, sparkling clean, glasses of water on the table.
And last night, I couldn’t take my eyes off the coffee mug on the table. It was a 60 Minutes mug. I know Charlie Rose works on 60 Minutes Wednesday, but why does he have a 60 Minutes mug on the PBS show? No PBS mugs? No Charlie Rose mugs? Sure, I’m glad he’s promoting his CBS show on PBS time, but why would PBS allow that? And the product placement was excellent.

From Wahoo reader Mark Nelson of St. Paul, Minnesota:

”Last week I was in San Jose, California for a wedding. I remembered that In-N-Out burger was recommended by a Wahoo reader as a great local place to eat, so I stopped at one. It was fabulous! The best fast food burger and fries I have ever had! Thanks to you and the Wahoo Gazette readers for making my trip a memorable one.”