STUMP THE BAND: It’s something we stole from Johnny Carson. As soon as we’re done with it, he can have it back. Our lease is open-ended.

Paul must have received the wrong memo because he was prepared to play Carnac. Holding an envelope up to his forehead, Paul answers the question sequestered inside the sealed envelope. Paul reveals, “Dr. Craig Smith and Monica Lewinsky.” Paul then rips open the envelope to read the question he just answered.

“Name 2 people who have worked on President Clinton’s organ.”

CONTESTANT #1. Lindsey Kozinski, originally from Iowa, now living in New York. The spelling you see above is the spelling found on Dave’s blue card. We spell the names phonetically as best we can to make his job easier. Where in Iowa is Lindsey from? Marshaltown, Iowa. Want to know more about Marshalltown? Check out www.mtnia.com.

Where did she go to college? At a college in Indiana. Oh, what college? Notre Dame. Uhhh, yeah, I’ve heard of Notre Dame. What does she do in New York? She’s an exhibition designer. She designs exhibitions for children’s museums. You know, if you have a talent in this city, no matter what it is, there’s a job for you here. I have to admit it sounds like a fun job. What is Lindsey’s song?

"I’m Dressing Myself."

Oh, that’s easy. Horn player Bruce Kapler is given free-reign to nail the song. Bruce sings a beautiful rendition of “I’m Dressing Myself” to the tune of a Beatle song. Though lovely as it is, it is not the song Lindsey had in mind. Lindsey sings her version. She is rewarded with a dinner, music from the Late Show, and Explod-O-Pop Popcorn --- “it’s contaminated with flavor!”

CONTESTANT #2: Kyle Johnston of Tyler, Texas. Kyle is dressed in relaxed shorts and an even more relaxed gray t-shirt. You knew what was coming but you didn’t quite know how. Dave says, “Let me guess . . . you just came from a wedding.” Laughs. I especially enjoyed Paul laughing like Ed McMahon. Ho Ho Ho. Dave takes another look at Kyle and says, “You know, that’s the way I dress.” What is Tyler, Texas known for? It’s the Rose capital of Texas. Want to learn more about Tyler, Texas? Check out www.tylertexas.com.

I asked to no one in particular if Tyler is the Yellow Rose capital of Texas. An intern from northern Texas says it isn’t. It’s simply the Rose capital.

What does Kyle do for a living? He’s a mailman, trekking up to 8 miles a day, walking all the way. What’s he doing in New York? “Just hanging out and having fun.”

Kyle’s song: “My Dog Refried.”

Will Lee volunteers with such enthusiasm I thought he definitely knew the song. Although Will did now “My Dog Refried”, he did not know the Kyle Johnson version. Kyle performs his number and is rewarded with some Explod-O-Pop popcorn, music from the LATE SHOW, and dinner for 2 at “21.”

CONTESTANT #3: Laura Kellerman of Shreveport, Louisiana. Where is Shreveport? A nervous Laura says in the northwest part near the Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma border. It’s where Texans go to gamble. Want to learn more about Shreveport, Louisiana? Check out www.ci.shreveport.la.us. The only thing I know about Shreveport is they had a World Football League team in the early 70’s. At least that’s the way I remember it. Let’s make a Google search right now and see how my memory is. The Shreveport Steamers – 1974. They were the Houston Texans for half the year and then the team moved to Shreveport. I always associated Shreveport with the WFL since the football team was the first I ever heard of Shreveport.

Shreveport Steamer fun fact: Their color commentator for the 1974-75 season was Larry King. How about that.

What? Oh, yeah, Stump the Band. I almost forgot.

Laura Kellerman works as a news producer for an NBC affiliate in Shreveport. She is in New York on her honeymoon. Dave wonders, “You’re on your honeymoon . . . and you’re here?!”

Laura’s Song: “The Belly Button Song.” Paul’s got it. I’m confident going in that Paul knows this song. To the tune of the Bombay Dreams hit, “Chacka Lacka Baby” Paul performs “The Belly Button Song.” I enjoyed it, but according to Laura Kellerman, it was the wrong song. Laura performs and receives gifts and prizes.

And that was Stump the Band for tonight.

Shreveport, Louisiana was founded in 1836 by the Shreve Town Company, a corporation established to develop a town at the juncture of the newly navigable Red River and the Texas Trail. The town was then named in honor of Captain Henry Miller Shreve.

WILL IT FLOAT: Tonight’s item – a 4-pound jar of Skippy Creamy Peanut Butter. Dave says it will float. Paul says it will sink. The girls drop the 4-pound jar of Skippy Peanut Butter into the Will It Float tank and it . . . . SINKS.

I laughed when Dave said he’s lost two weeks in a row. I gave a quick check and found that he has lost 2 weeks in a row. I realized he takes this Will It Float seriously. I know he’s said it in the past that he loves the game and loves it when he’s right, but I never quite believed it. He really likes to be right in Will It Float. It can make or break his weekend. And when he wins, the Will It Float party after the show is so much more fun.

DREW BARRYMORE: Dave lauds Drew’s appearance, telling her she looks better every year. A blushing Drew is delightfully pleased by the praise, exclaiming her mood as “peacock feathers extend!” Why looking so good? Drew says she’s been jogging on the treadmill and is up to 3 miles. Dave, proud of Drew’s commitment to health, describes treadmill running as “the very distillation of tedium.”

Does she drink? Does she smoke? Both questions are answered hesitantly. She admits to having a cigarette perhaps once every 6 weeks. What are Dave’s bad habits? He says he doesn’t have any. He then describes his long-ago drinking days, of which I never tire of hearing. Dave stopped drinking “after 30 years of just punishing myself.” He finishes with, “I have no bad habits anymore . . . damn!”

Drew makes her directorial debut September 21st in an MTV documentary entitled, The Best Place To Start. It’s a story about young people voting, and why so many don’t. The documentary is a look at Drew and the crew’s journey to find the answers to these questions.

ARON RALSTON: He’s the mountain climber/hiker who last year got his arm caught under a boulder while hiking alone. After days of being trapped, the only way for Aron to free himself was to cut off his arm. He tells the story in his new book, Between a Rock and a Hard Place.

It’s a fascinating story. No one thinks they could ever do what Aron did, but as he explained the last time he was here, after 6 days you realize it’s something that had to be done. Any of us would have done the same thing is the way Aron sees it.

ACT 5: A moment with the Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra. And that was our show for Friday September 10, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I stand corrected: In yesterday’s Wahoo Gazette, I incorrectly credited the long-ago comedic piece of stoically reading Elvis Presley song lyrics.

From Wahoo reader George Schmidt of Fairview, New Jersey:

“RE: Wilton North Report/Elvis lyics. They were clearly doing an homage/ripoff of Steve Allen's classic bit where he'd do the same exact thing (he originated it!)”

Affect vs. effect – you use which when? I know I should have learned this years ago but never got around to nailing it down. I figure I better learn it now before my girls start asking.

It’s a working dark week next week, followed by the Emmy Awards on Sunday the 19th. The LATE SHOW has been nominated for 5 Emmy Awards:
1. Outstanding Variety, Music, or Comedy Series
2. Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program
3. Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program – Jerry Foley

These Awards will be presented Sunday, the 19th.

The Two Technical Award will be presented this Sunday, the 12th.
4. Outstanding Technical Direction, Camerawork, Video for a Series – Tim Kennedy 5. Outstanding Lighting Direction for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Programming – Tim Stephenson, Steven Brill

Next week’s previously-viewed programs:
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 13:
From June 28, 2004; Show #2196
Piedmont Bird Callers; Kirsten Dunst; and Chris Robinson and the New Earth Mud
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 14:
From August 2, 2004: Show #2216
Pamela Anderson; and Al Franken
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 15:
From August 5, 2004; Show #2219
Jada Pinkett Smith; Jessica Simpson; and Gerard Mulligan’s farewell show
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 16:
From August 4, 2004; Show #2218
Tom Cruise; and Dax Shepard
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 17, 2004:
From August 3, 2004; Show #2217
President Clinton; and Natalie Merchant