AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL
#1. Linda Godfrey of St. Petersburg, Florida. Linda’s works in a trauma hospital. How is her success ratio? “Not so good,” she says. Ouch! I guess if you’re going to the trauma hospital, your success ratio wouldn’t be too good. What does Linda have for us? She can keep one eye pointing west while moving the other eye east. It looked better in slow motion. Looking at this, I wondered it was really that hard? All she’s doing it looking west with her eyeballs. With the eyeball furthest west, she moves that one east until cross-eyed. I just tried it, and although it made me dizzy, it was kind of easy to do.

#2. Betty Russell: She’s from Point Pleasant, New Jersey. And where have you heard “Point Pleasant, New Jersey” before? Probably from Rupert when talking about going fishing. When he goes out on a boat, he fishes out of Belmar, New Jersey. When fishing off the jetty, he heads to Point Pleasant.

What does Betty have for us? 51 years ago, Betty went to the Junior Prom with Jack Nicholson. She has a yellowed newspaper to hold up. In the photo is Betty with Jack Nicholson from1953. Such a nice couple. And she also has a photograph from last Friday. It’s a picture of Betty and Jack Nicholson at last week’s 50th High School Reunion! HEY! Good for Jack for showing up. Nice job. Jack is in town for the Yankee/Red Sox series.

Sitting next to Betty was her husband. Dave comforts the husband that nothing happened between Jack and Betty. Betty tells Dave, “I got the better ‘Jack’.” I chuckled. “Heh heh heh. Her husband’s name is Jack Russell.”

#3. Hugh O’Brien: He’s from Minneapolis. What’s he do in Minny? Hugh has created a monopoly-like board game that covers politics. This struck my curiosity button and so I did a quick google and came up with this:
http://boardgames.about.com/b/a/102408.htm
Looks like an interesting game: “Landslide.”
What’s Hugh got? He can saw his tongue with a steak knife. He performs the stunt. Please, don’t try this at home. And I immediately wondered how he learned he could do this.

Earlier in the day for Hugh O’Brien’s Audience Show and Tell, property master and stagehand Pat Farmer went out and purchased a pack of steak knives. He was careful not to cut himself with one of the knives when opening the pack. I laughed when he cut himself on the hard plastic packaging.

And that was Audience Show and Tell.

While billboarding the show, Dave mentions that Billy Crystal’s show has sold millions of dollars worth of tickets. It opens November 12th. Tony “Cue Cards” Mendez silently points out to Dave that the Previews begin on November 12th. (The show opens December 5th.) Dave, feigning anger at the disruption, has a one-way discussion with Tony about Previews. Paul joins in the fray and gives offers his knowledge of Previews.

And now a look behind the scenes, found only at the Wahoo Gazette.

Early in the day, I had on my blue card the opening of “700 Sundays” to be December 5th. When Tony and I received the Billy Crystal introduction before the show, the intro had November 12th as the date to promote the Previews. Wanting to be consistent, Tony and I changed our blue card and cue card billboards to match the guest intro, promoting when the Previews started rather than when the show actually opened. We feared that promoting different dates on the billboard cards and the introduction cards would create more confusion than it would be worth.

Let’s take a look at how Martha Stewart is doing at the Alderson Federal Prison via our satellite hook-up. We cut to Martha, who is involved in an angry, all-out brawl with the guards. She gets the last laugh, though, when she breaks a chair over “The Man’s” back.

A MESSAGE FROM JOHN KERRY: From last night’s debate: “What I can promise you is / ceiling fans / for all Americans.”

PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE THINK COUNT – from last night’s debate – While Senator John Kerry is speaking, we watch the President looking on. In this short clip, the President blinks 29 times. Looks like he’s got a bit of the dry eye.

BILLY CRYSTAL: His one-man Broadway show opens on December 5th. Previews begin November 12th. Now that Billy will soon be on Broadway, he takes his seat very theatrical-like. He seats himself again for those who may have missed it. Billy was right. It was very theatrical. It reminded me of how Peter O’Toole would sit. 700 Sundays is an autobiographical look back on his life. What’s the significance of title “700 Sundays”? Growing up, Billy’s dad worked 2 jobs, 6 days a week. He only had off on Sunday. Dying when Billy was young, Billy figured he spent about 700 Sundays with his dad, coming to just under 14 years. Dave congratulates Dave on his little Harry. Dave says again that having little Harry in his life may be the first time he ever experienced joy. Billy has a 16-month-old grandchild who he just spent some time with. He suggests that Dave and he get together for a play date. The can go to the park and look like an elderly gay couple with their adopted kids. Billy says he caught himself talking baby talk to the grandchild the other day, realizing how silly it was for a 54 year old man talking baby talk. Dave laughs and agrees the baby talk is silly. He asks Dave for some of the baby talk he shares with Harry. Dave says he won’t be doing any of that.

How ‘bout them Yankees! Every year Billy takes October off to watch the Yankees run for the World Series. Even though the Yankees are up 2 games to 0 against the Red Sox, the Boston team is not out of it yet. He says the Red Sox are “a tough team, a talented team, a dangerous team . . . . they just have had a bad century.”

How ‘bout them debates! Billy says it’s obvious that neither candidate was using performance enhancing drugs. He’s made the suggestion to the always somber John Kerry that when he is happy, he should tell his face. With Bush, he always looks like one of the Little Rascals when they see something scary.

This year, the election may be decided on the swing state, Wisconsin. Billy Crystal refers to it as the “Land of Lakes.” Dave says no, unconvincingly saying that would be Michigan. Nope on both. According to my records:
Wisconsin: America’s Dairyland.
Michigan: The Great Lakes State
Minnesota: Land of 10,000 Lakes. – It is why the Los Angles basketball team is called the Lakers. They originally came from Minnesota.

RALPH NADER: How many times has he run for President? We had him down for 4 times. He says he’s run for President twice. Earlier in the day I was Googling for an image of a Nader campaign button to put on the script cover. I found a few for this year, one for 2000, and another for 1996. He should know but I had him down for at least 3 runs for President.

From the website: http://www.infoplease.com/spot/ralphnader1.html

“Democrats fear that Nader will be a spoiler, as he was in the 2000 election, when he took more than 97,000 votes in Florida. Bush won Florida by just 537 votes. The win gave Bush the election. Nader, an independent candidate, who also ran in 1992 and 1996, is on the ballot in 33 states, including Florida, Ohio, Wisconsin, and New Mexico—tough battleground states.”

Nader explains that he’s not on the ballot on all 50 states due to the so many obstacles put in place by the Democrats and Republicans to keep out 3rd parties. They don’t like competition. Would a vote for Nader hurt the Democrats? He cites one study which found that in 2000, 25% of those who voted for him would have voted for Bush if Nader did not run. 38% would have voted for Kerry. The rest would have stayed home. This year, it’s evenly split; 25% would go for Bush, 25% for Kerry, the rest would stay home.

What did he think of the debates? Says Mr. Nader, “I saw the debates. I want a rebate. It was not a debate. I was more like an evade.” Some topics avoided by the big party leaders:
- an affordable living wage
- health care
- the military budget
- the Israel/Palestine situation
- how will we get out of Iraq

The Democrats and Republicans won’t touch it.

Why does Ralph run if he doesn’t have a chance to win? Because the social justice of the situation calls for if “You lose, you fight again.” The long response to Dave’s question went uninterrupted by Dave. I “Played the Dave” and guessed Dave would say when he had the chance, “Uhhh, I forgot my question.” Instead, Dave said with a smile, “Sounds like you put some thought into this.” Dave throws to commercial.

Back with more from Ralph, Dave asks if he became President, would he be constrained like other Presidents in their effort to get things done. Nader says he knows how to influence congress. And he simply wants what most people want. To find out what Nader wants, check out his website at www.votenader.org.

What would Nader say to someone who thinks a vote for Nader is a throwaway vote? Ralph Nader paraphrases a quote from socialist Eugene Debs:

“I would rather vote for a candidate I want and not get it than vote for a candidate I don’t want and get it.”

ACT 5: DWIGHT THE TROUBLED TEEN
ALAN: “Dwight, I thought we were going to watch the Presidential debate together. Where were you last night?”
DWIGHT: “I went to the mall with my friends. So what?
ALAN: “I just think it’s important for you to learn about he issues of the day and the candidates’ different approaches to them.”
DWIGHT: “Yeah, right. What’s important is having an actual life, instead of sitting around with a creepy old loser like you! I hate you! I hate all of you!”
(Dwight exits ---- then returns)
DWIGHT: “Hi, kids, I’m Dwight the Troubled Teen. Alan Kalter and I make fun of a lot of things, but one thing we do take very seriously is our democratic system.”
ALAN: “Dwight and I remind you that voting is a right and privilege. Be sure to vote in the upcoming election.”
DWIGHT: “Thank you, and may God Bless America!” And that was our show for Thursday October 14, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

During Wednesday night’s “Vote for Change” concert at the Meadowlands in New Jersey, Jackson Browne was playing a soft mellow song. Right in the middle of it, I hear a huge roar of approval from the crowd. I didn’t understand the commotion. I thought perhaps Bruce Springsteen walked on stage. Nope. I looked throughout the crowd and saw no one noticeable. I turned to ask the guy behind me who was also cheering and asked, “What’s up?” With his cellphone up to his ear, he says, “Olerud just hit a home run. Yankees winning 3-0.” Looking across the crowd, I see many with a cell phone to their ear.

Oh I am so disappointed in the St. Louis Cardinals baseball fans. I was so looking forward to a real good World Series no matter the match up. If it’s the Astros in the World Series, it would be nice to see longtime ‘Stros Bagwell and Biggio in the big showcase, and having Clemens pitching against either the Yankees or the Red Sox would be lots of fun. If it’s the Cardinals in the World Series, the matchup between either the Yankees or the Red Sox would be great teams full of great history. But then I caught a glimpse of the Cardinal/Astro game the other day and there in the crowd in St. Louis, who are said to be the best baseball fans in the country, there in the crowd I saw a lot of fans with those annoying clapping noise makers made “famous” by the fans in Anaheim two years ago. Come on, St. Louis. You don’t need the clappers! Get rid of them. You are too good for that. Keep the gimmicks at home. The game doesn’t need it. Don’t clutter up the game with that visual garbage.

The Yankees have nothing clinched yet. A loss tonight (Friday) and everything changes. Boston pitcher Bronson Arroyo has pitched very well against the Yankees of late and the next two hurlers for the Yankees, Kevin Brown and El Duque, are big question marks. I won’t be calm until the Yankees have their 4 wins safely tucked in their back pocket.

FRIDAY’S MAILBAG
LETTER #1: From Matthew Hahn of Gibsonia, Pennsylvania:
“Dear Dave, What do you think Martha Stewart would do to occupy her time while in jail?”

LETTER #2: Paul Stephen of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada:
“So when are you planning to retire, Dave?”

LETTER #3: Garry Peedy of Calgary, Alberta, Canada:
“Dear Dave, Have you ever tried to play the drums?”

LETTER #4: Elizabeth Carpenter of Chattanooga, Tennessee:
“Dear Dave, Who has been your favorite guest on the show lately?”