I went to the "Vote for Change" concert at the Meadowlands last night, leaving me little time to do the Wahoo. I finished some of it before I left here after work. The rest I had to slap together Thursday morning.

"WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!" Dave was watching football this weekend and he heard "We must protext this house!" on some promo. He now keeps saying it . . . no matter how hard he tries to stop. Dave repeats the "We must protect this house!" He invites Paul to do the same. Paul, with some urging by Dave, repeats the "We must protect this house!"

The flu shot shortage is becoming critical. And of course, there is always someone who will try to take advantage. Did you see what Poland Spring water is doing? Dave holds up a bottle of the Poland Spring. Inside is a free flu shot syringe.

GEORGE W. BUSH GETS STUCK: From an October 7th speech in Wausau, Wisconsin - "These days he praises America's coalition forces in the Persian Gulf . . . . . . . . . . War."

It's Day 6 for Martha in the Alderson Federal Prison in Alderson, West Virginia. Dave doesn't think she should be in prison. Dave believes, "There should be different rules for celebrities." We have a live satellite hook-up to the prison to keep tabs on the Martha. We go LIVE and find a prison donnybrook taking place in the all-female prison. Can't they all just get along?

Have you been watching the Presidential debates? Everyone is riveted, and it's not hard to realize why with promos such as the one seen on CNN earlier tonight. It promises a surprise special guest during the debate . . . . . and it looks a lot like Osama himself.

HAROLD LARKIN'S 'WHAT CELEBRITY DO YOU LOOK LIKE? Before going to the videotape, Dave asks Harold if he likes to watch the football on the weekends. "No," Harold answers, hoping to stop this before it continues. Dave presses on and request Harold to say, "We must protect this house!" Harold doesn't quite hear or doesn't understand, so Dave repeats the request. Harold then says, "We must protect this house!"
Harold went around the streets of New York asking pedestrians which celebrity they think they look like.

TOP TEN: President Bush Explanations for the Bulge in his Jacket:
#6. John Kerry initially voted for bulge in my jacket, then voted against it.
#5. I'll tell you exactly what it is --- it's a clear sign this economy is moving again."
#1. If Kerry's gonna look like a horse, then I'm gonna look like a camel."

JENNIFER LOPEZ: "Shall We Dance," also starring Richard Gere. It opens Friday. Dave tries to get the dish on Jennifer's recent "marriage" (?) to 'Salsa heartthrob, Marc Antony. She wasn't all that forthcoming. Dave kept asking. She kept dodging. Dave offered her the chance to ask him a question. It was not really in question form, but Jennifer said to Dave, "I heard you're still not married." The subject is then changed.
How is little Harry? Dave says about the boy, it's the "only time in my life where I experienced joy, complete joy."
How is Jennifer's mom? She's doing well. She won $2.4 playing the slots. And how's her family? They're doing great, too. Mom divvied the money up with them.

ALAN KALTER'S ELECTION UPDATE - Hello, paging Teresa Heinz. Alan once again steals valuable network time to hit on one of the many hot celebrity mamas.
- Following a bit of serious talk, Alan turns lascivious. "Teresa, I know these long days on the campaign trail are difficult. Why not take a break and cast your vote for Big Red? We could swing in any state your heart desires. I would change positions as often as you asked me to - our bodies flipping and flopping all night long. And you'd elect me in a landslide, pulling my lever over and over and over again."
- Alan then pulls out a bottle of ketchup and squirts the ketchup all over his face. Dave, disturbed by the disturbing scene, suspends Alan on the spot.

ACT 5: Late Show Intern Spotlight!
It's Paul Masella, majoring in communications at Adelphi University. Just today he was caught downloading adult material on company computer.

SUE JOHANSON: The elderly sex expert. She has a lot of information on the subject. Dave knows this about sex: "People just love to screw."
Anything people won't do? The expert says, "not much."
Dave reveals that when growing up, he didn't have much luck with the ladies, phrasing it "I had trouble getting the ball into the end zone."
Would it be easier for Dave, if he were 18 again, to get a lady friend? Sue says it would be since woman today are more aggressive.
Dave asks, "What makes a slut?" Answering his own question, Dave says, "a slut in anybody who would have sex with me." Sue Johanson follows that with, "No, . . . . that's desperate."
Sue Johanson - you can learn everything you need to know about s-e-x on her program on the Oxygen network, "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson." It's where I learned how to make twins.

And that was our show for Wednesday, October 13, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

It was discovered that President Bush had a hidden listening device during last night's debate. It was tuned to the Yankee/Red Sox game.

Macho sporting event of the weekend:
Friday night, it's NASCAR's SpongeBob SquarePants Movie 300. Does the winner get a year's supply of Crabby Patties?

I thought of this last night at the "Vote For Change" concert. Jackson Browne was performing "Running on Empty." He sang the line, "In '65 I was 17." And then later, "in '69 I was 21." Looking for any chance to do a math problem in my free time, I realized Dave Letterman was 17 in '65 and 21 in '69. That's right, I'm always working on the show.

WAHOO GAZETTE EDITORIAL PAGE
The other day I relived my joy of having Show #1492 on October 12th in the year 2000. I loved how it coincided with Christopher Columbus' discovery of America - October 12, 1492.
Alice Bell of Vancouver, Canada shares her recent "fun with numbers" coincident.

"This last Saturday we were over at another couple's house watching a DVD chosen by yet another couple. In fact, what they brought was the entire 'Pink Panther' set with Peter Sellars as Clouseau. The other couples (unlike ourselves) were aficionados of the genre, so chose 'The Pink Panther Strikes Back' as the most enjoyable. When, during the movie, the by-then demented Dreyfus played by Herbert Lom announces to the world "At 9 o'clock on Saturday, October 9th, I will destroy the United Nations Building" - it was 9 o'clock on Saturday, October 9th right where we were!!! I went crazy (mainly with concern about the fate of the UN) but no-one else did. Maybe because they were thinking the UN is on EST and we were on PDST, so there were still 3 hours to think of something. At any rate, a nice numerical coincidence."