Dave is excited about tonight’s show, claiming “It’s more show than you need.” He adds, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you only watch half of it, it’s so full.” I laughed.

REPUBLICAN DELEGATE OF THE NIGHT: We had the camera scanning the convention looking for that special delegate. We found one. There in what were once known as the blue seats at the Madison Square Garden, was a Republican’s attempt at the foreign art of dance. I looked at the guy and said, “Utah.” The person sitting next to me said, “Idaho.”

Dave tries his own brand of dancing. At the desk, without getting up, Dave begins to swing his arms wildly and gyrate with little grace or style. I made a notation of this to log it for future use. My guess is you’ll see it again by year’s end.

A MESSAGE FROM JOHN KERRY: From a recent speech to an American Legion hall: “Mark my words / as President I will / allow thousands of foreign terrorists, Islamist militants, and intelligence agents to penetrate the destabilize / the United States.”

Dave proclaims a hunger for this. . . . “Can I have some more of the Republican Delegate of the Night?” We are blessed with another performance.

A MESSAGE FROM DICK CHENEY: “Mr. Chairman, delegates, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans, / I am / having / a heart / attack.” Choppy but sounded plausible.

Oh, such silly silly silliness. It’s silly editing to make famous and important people say things they would never say. It’s so silly. And yet it is funny, too.

And another MESSAGE FROM DICK CHENEY: “President Bush and I / have had / sex / often.”

You remember how I said we spent some time at the convention looking for that special delegate. Well, we compiled the unused shots to put together a Republican National Convention Quiz. Some of my favorites:
(Dick Cheney)
Dick Cheney’s speech was watched intently by the:
A) G.O.P.
B) R.N.C.
C) E.M.S.

(4 older delegates)
The man on the right keeps asking:
A) “What’s on the agenda tonight?”
B) “Which delegation is that over there?”
C) “Has Hoover won yet?”

Dave takes a moment and asks, “By the way . . . . is Teterboro open?” (a nearby small-plane airport in New Jersey) Seconds later, our SFX guy Gary Kiffel produces the propeller-planed sound effect. Right on, Gary. Nice job!

(A woman and a creepy looking guy in an Uncle Sam hat)
This scene shows:
A) Three was good attendance for the afternoon speeches.
B) Delegates had to wear their credentials at all times.
C) Republicans really know how to cut loose.

(A guy with goatee and afro)
This man is at Madison Square Garden because:
A) He’s an AP photographer
B) He’s a CNN runner
C) He bought a counterfeit ticket for the Lynyrd Skynyrd concert

(Room with empty seats)
Here we see:
A) preparations for a Republican strategy seminar
B) the set-up for a young conservatives meeting
C) Ralph Nader’s convention

My favorite part of the whole quiz was Paul’s opening song, “The Elephant Walk.”

Back from commercial, Dave complains of a “wardrobe malfunction” and had to get a new suit jacket. He complained of finding some leftover shrapnel from a recent “incident.”

BIFF AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION:
- Madison Square Garden – 20 blocks south of the Ed Sullivan Theater.

It’s a special night at the Garden tonight. It is, but Biff lets us know “Nothing’s happening yet.” But are you ready for the big night? Biff huffs, “Ready for what?”

How was the Convention in Boston different from the one in New York?
Biff: “Both were dull. At least they’re over.”
Which delegates were more fun? The Republicans or the Democrats?
Biff: “They both pretended to have fun but I think they will all be glad when it’s over.”

The President will be speaking tonight.
Biff: “Yes, and I was able to conduct a one-on-one interview with the President. We see the clip.
In the distance we see President George W. Bush. Biff, in a hushed tone, says, “That’s the President.” Turning to the President, Biff whispers, “Hey, Mr. President!” The President, half a football field away, doesn’t hear. And that was Biff’s One-on-One with the President.

Biff also has somebody with him, it’s the Honorable Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. The former Mayor of New York City praises Biff on “a very very good interview.”
So what are the future plans of the Mayor? With some hesitation, he says, “Manager of the Yankees.” Dave laughs, accusing Rudy of gunning for Joe Torre’s job. Giuliani quickly adds that he’ll wait until Torre is ready to step down. Dave and Giuliani then discuss the recent 22-0 drubbing the Cleveland Indians pasted on the Bronx Bombers. Rudy tries to change the subject.
Dave says he was talking to that guy . . . . what’s his name . . . . oh, come on, you know who I mean . . . what’s his name . . . . I can’t think of it . . . . he’s the Mayor of New York City . . .” Giuliani laughs, “Mayor Bloomberg!” “That’s the guy,” Dave replies. Would Rudy ever think of running for Mayor again once Bloomberg is finished? Rudy says Mike Bloomberg is doing a swell job and this convention brought in $100 million of free publicity for the city. Which is a good thing because without that publicity, on one would know about New York City. Dave thanks the Mayor for stopping by and Rudy says goodbye and hugs our friends, everyone’s friend, Biff Henderson.

TIM RUSSERT: Moderator of NBC’s Meet the Press. It is the longest running program on network television, on for nearly 57 years. It premiered November 6, 1947.
Moderators:
Martha Roundtree
Ned Brooks
Lawrence E. Spivak
Bill Monroe
Marvin Kalb
Chris Wallace
Garrick Utley
Tim Russert – Tim is the longest tenured moderator of Meet the Press, making his debut on December 8, 1991.

How does Tim see this election going? It’ll be a close election but he’s brings up an interesting point. If Bush wins the same states this time around as he did in 2000, and if Kerry wins the states Al Gore won in 2000, Bush would win by a little more than last time due to the shift in population. But, if Kerry were able to win two more states, New Hampshire and West Virginia, which could happen, the electoral vote would be 269 to 269. You need 270 to win. The tie would be broken by a vote by the House of Representatives, which has a Republican majority. However, the Senate elects the Vice President. Assuming the Democrats take the Senate in this November election, John Edwards would likely be elected Vice President. Now there’s something to root for!

How does this election look? Tim believes it will all come down to Ohio Ohio Ohio. Last time, Bush won Ohio by 170,000 votes. But since then, 230,000 Ohioans have lost their jobs. Which way will it go this time? Not sure, but it may decide the election.

John Kerry? He has to come up with something more than “I’m not Bush.”

How has the Conventions changed over the years? Years ago, Conventions decided the candidates. These days we have primaries. We didn’t have primaries years ago. The convention was the big deal. No more.

Tim wrote a book, entitled, Big Russ & Me, which recently made it to #1 on the New York Times bestseller list. It’s a tribute to his father and his times, and to the things he taught Tim. Russert says much what Tom Brokaw described as “The Greatest Generation.” These are the men and women who grew up in the Depression and fought in World War 2. As soon as Tim finished the book, he sent a copy to h is dad with a heartfelt inscription. A few days later he still hadn’t heard from his father. A few days after that, still nothing. And a few days later, again nothing. Finally Tim called his dad. “So dad, what do you think?” Says his dad, “Well, I’m still working on it. I’m reading a chapter a night.”

Dad and son went to one book-signing together. To an American Legion Hall in Buffalo, New York. . . . hat had free beer. Tim made a good sell in his description of the book. I’ll be picking up a copy real soon.

ACT 5: It’s time to announce another winner in the “My Pet Looks Like Dave” contest.

Congratulations to Joan Coles of Brooklyn, New York. Joan sent in a photo of her parakeet Roscoe who bears a striking resemblance to television host David Letterman. For winning, Joan will receive a $75 gift certificate to Home Depot. Home Depo. You can do it. We can help.
Congratulations, Joan and Roscoe. Keep on playing and maybe you’ll be the next winner of the “My Pet Looks Like Dave” contest. Tell your friends.

Listening to Snow Patrol makes Dave want to rent a convertible, throw on the CD, take a one-a-day vitamin, and drive all day till you get to Prescott. Sounds good. All I need is a convertible and the one-a-day.

And that was our show for Thursday September 2, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I was watching the Convention coverage on C-SPAN last night before the networks chimed in. With my back turned while I typed this, the Convention female announcers sounded like the announcers at a Miss America pageant. Or maybe the Academy Awards. It was that perfect diction, perfect Midwest accent, perfectly clear voice. Not an edge to it. Very Disney-fied. Attempting to appeal to all, therefore appealing to none. Oh, and I have to apologize to the networks. I was watching the Convention from 8-10:00 PM. Thursday night. There was nothing there. Just a bunch of “Up With People” type performances. I don’t blame the networks for keeping away.

The New York Yankees have their own cable network called “YES” for “Yankees Entertainment and Sports” network. The Mets are planning on doing the same and may I recommend the very appropriate name: the “Mets Entertainment Sports Station.”

Friday’s show: Jane Pauley and Greg Giraldo. Greg has been bumped twice in recent weeks. Will he finally make it on Friday?

Friday’s Will It Float? item: A 1-gallon jug of liquid soap. Discuss.

G22 and proud of it.