35 years ago today, man stepped foot on the moon. Apollo 11 Astronaut Neil Armstrong made history, stating upon his first step "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." What's Neil doing now? Nobody knows. He doesn't do interviews. And if he did, what would he say? Dave slumps over and as if smoking a cigarette says in a whiskey-laden voice, "I'm thinking of going to Jupiter."

And did you see the strange commercial commemorating that special day of 35 years ago?

Announcer: "July 20, 1969. A milestone in human history as man walks on the moon. However, during the past four years, no hard-working middle-class Americans have been able to afford to travel to the moon, due to the misguided economic policies of George W. Bush. Think about it, America. Paid for by Kerry for President."

Did you hear about John Edwards' brother Wesley who finally turned himself in to Colorado police after 11 years on charges of DWI? Yup. The guy was soused and behind the wheel. Wesley got arrested and never showed up for court. And then incredibly, this was seen on the television earlier today.

Announcer: "The brother of Democratic Vice President Candidate John Edwards surrendered on a drunken driving charge yesterday. Doesn't America deserve more? That's why President Bush and Vice President Cheney want you to know they've been busted for drunken driving a combined total of THREE times! Bush-Cheney 2004. Driving drunk since 1962."

Let's go to Rupert's. We're going to play something we call "Would You Like To Plant the Flag on the Moon." We find Rupert with Casandra from Yukon, Oklahoma. It's her 25th birthday. Hmm, a town called Yukon in Oklahoma. How can that be? Casandra doesn't explain that but she does explain that Yukon, Oklahoma is the Czech Capital of Oklahoma. Every autumn the town of Yukon celebrates with a huge festival celebrating their Czech roots. Hmmm. This only provides another "huh?" So what's Casandra's story? It's her birthday, she has a 6-month old son named Rehn Scott, and she's a fashion designer. Now I don't mean to come off as a New York snob, but immediately coming to my head was "fashion designer from Oklahoma?" Anyway, Dave is in a rush to get out of this and says it's time for Casandra to plant the flag. Send her in! Casandra walks in front of the green chroma screen we set up at the west end of the Hello Deli. She is holding an American flag. Along with Casandra is Rupert. Through the magic of chroma-keying, the green screen appears to be the surface of the moon. Casandra proudly plants the American flag into the surface of the moon. Dave tells Rupert to scat, since Neil Armstrong didn't invite his deli man to come with him to the moon 35 years ago. Rupert leaves and in comes the Late Show girls with a Hello Deli platter, a muffin tin, and a jar of Tang.

And that's how we play "Would You Like To Plant the Flag On The Moon." Hopefully it'll run a bit more smoothly in 5 years when we try it again.

Back from commercial after a feverish search, Dave reads this about Yukon, Oklahoma.

"Yukon, Oklahoma is officially known as the 'Czechoslovak Capital of Oklahoma' because so many people from the country of Czechoslovakia settled there in the late 1800s."

ALAN KALTER'S WHAT'S HOT AT THE BEACH: No one loves the beach like our announcer Alan Kalter. One look at him and you think, "Now there's a guy who tans!" That's why we decided to produce this new segment, something we call, "Alan Kalter's What's Hot At The Beach."
Alan: "Summer beach fashions have evolved significantly over the years. It's important to be aware of all the latest styles before you head off for some fun in the sun. Let's take a look at some examples of today's hottest swimsuits."
Enter a beautiful and shapely young woman in a revealing, eye-popping bikini. Alan describes.
Alan: "Here we see a very popular style, a spandex halter-neck bikini and sarong from Tommy Bahama. It's comfortable, it looks great, and it's available in all your favorite colors."
Just then we hear off camera, "Hey, that's my wife!" A big bruiser of a guy storms in and beats our red-headed announcer till he's red in the face. Our poor announcer withers in pain. The bruiser and the bikini beauty exit.
I wonder how that guy got in? My guess is he told Security Chief Bill Delace that he wanted to beat the hell out of Alan Kalter and so Bill let him right in.

TOP TEN: Perks of Winning the British Open - American Todd Hamilton defeated Ernie Els in a 4-hole playoff this weekend to win the 2004 British Open.
And here to present tonight's top ten list, Todd Hamilton.
#10. Everywhere I go, I'm recognized by middle-aged fat guys.
#7. Get to appear on MTV's 'Pimp My Cart'
#5. President Bush called me ---he kept calling me Ernie, but it was still nice.
#3. You become a household name like past winners David Brown and George Duncan.
#1. I've been filling up some divots, if you know what I mean.

-Todd Hamilton: born in Illinois, now lives in Texas.
-Became a rookie member of the PGA Tour at the age of 38 last year.
-For the past 5 years, he's played on the Asian Tour in Japan.
-Earlier this year, Todd Hamilton won the Honda Classic.
Nice job and congratulations, Todd Hamilton

Back from commercial, Dave has more information on Yukon, Oklahoma.

"Yukon is an Indian word meaning 'Great River.' The North Canadian River runs through Yukon, Oklahoma."

HALLE BERRY: She's Catwoman! The Catwoman was feeling a bit illin' recently. She thinks it came from shaking the hands of 50 well-wishers and then eating without washing and cleansing her hands. Dave understands and suspects that if we knew the hygiene practices of most people, we would be deeply disappointed. One never knows where those hands have been.
Is Catwoman dating? "Not really," says Halle. "Maybe a little, more like 'Lite Dating.'" It's hard for Halle to find Mr. Right. Most dates are "a friend of a friend" variety, and that never seems to work out. She's single, but she's in no rush to change that either. How's mom? Still living back home in Ohio? Halle says she is, but not for long.
Halle's mom will be moving to California in the near future. Halle has a great relationship with her mom, who is honest, accepting, and an "anything goes" kind of woman. On a recent trip to Hawaii, Halle's mom wanted to try surfing. Halle's response was "But mom, you're 65 years old!" It didn't matter. Mom was out and riding the waves in no time. Halle? She wasn't allowed. She has it written in her contract that she can't partake in any dangerous activities while shooting a movie. So while mom was riding the surf, Halle had to sit on shore and watch. Bummer, dude.
We had Todd Hamilton on earlier. Does Halle like to play golf? She says she never played. How about other sports? Nope. But she did go to a sporting event recently. Front row tickets to a Los Angeles Laker game. What's it like sitting in the front row of a Laker game? You get a lot of spit and sweat thrown your way. Sounds like a Gallagher show.
We have a clip of Halle's "Catwoman" performance. We sit back to enjoy. Uh oh. It's not the right clip. It's Shecky footage of two cats boxing in a ring and other ancient cat footage. A surprised Halle laughs heartily. We then see the actual clip. It's Halle in all her cat charm. Meeooowwwwww! "Catwoman" - it opens Friday.

ACT 5: And now it's time for a Late Show Reminder:
Don't forget, folks: This Sunday marks the end of Daylight Saving Time. So at 2 AM, remember to set your clocks back one hour. And while you're at it, check the battery in your smoke detector.
This has been a Late Show Reminder. Thanks for watching and enjoy your extra hour of sleep.

MARIA MENA: From her debut CD, "White Turns Blue," Maria Mena performed "You're the Only One." I liked it. I'll be giving the rest of the CD a listen this weekend.

And that was our show for Tuesday, July 20, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I made another one of those mistakes last night. I mentioned to the Stangels that Tuesday is the 25th Anniversary of man stepping on the moon for the first time. Not until the next morning did I realize it was 35 years ago. 1969 was 35 years ago, not 25 years ago! I made the same mistake a few months ago. I feel as if I lost 10 years of my life just like that.

1969 was a great year in New York. The moon landing took place in July. A few weeks later was the Woodstock Music Festival, about two hours north of the city. And in September and October, the Miracle Mets. You can throw in the Jets winning the Super Bowl in January of '69 and the Knicks winning it all in the Spring of '70. Plus, the best music came out in 1969.

Wahoo correction: Yesterday I said that the president of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway was named Tony Green. I wrote that from sketchy memory, and that memory was wrong. It was Tony George, not Tony Green. If my Google worked right now, I'd Google "Tony Green" and see what I got.

Martha Stewart was sentenced to 5 months in prison, 5 months home confinement. Is that fair punishment under the law? If a trailer park dweller received the same sentence, his 5 months home confinement would be much more of a hardship. His being confined to a place like Martha's house would be an unbelievable vacation; swimming pool, air conditioning, game rooms, all the cable TV you'd want, stacked refrigerator, and all the comfort one could want. Being confined to a trailer park is much more harsh. Home confinement is not fair for all.

I rented "Young Frankenstein" this weekend, finally seeing it after all these years. And . . . . it didn't work for me. I know, I know, one of the greatest of all time, but it didn't work for me. Maybe I was expecting too much. Sure, it had its funny parts but I thought too few. Don't get mad. I liked it, but I didn't think it was as good as "The One and Only" with Henry Winkler.

I've decided to start renting movies on Saturday night while Denise is taping her radio show. Last week I watched "Citizen Kane." Next on my list include "On the Waterfront," "Hoosiers," "Dr. Strangelove," and "Pink Panther."

More on Wedding Songs.
From Glenn Williams of Williamsburg, Virginia

"I attended a wedding where one of the songs was 'What's Love Got to Do With It' by Tina Turner. I think the groom arranged it as a joke but the marriage didn't last a year."