It's America's Fastest Growing Party Sensation, it's Audience Show and Tell.

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #1:
Gina Wesson-Hill form Sherman, Texas. Gina is a biology student. And what will Gina do after she gets her biology degree? "Uhhh, probably sit home." And can you describe the terrain of Sherman, Texas? What's it like? "Uhh, it's nothing." My brother worked in Dallas for a few months. One day to get away, he got in this car and drove 500 miles. Nothing changed. The scenery never changed. The next week he did the same thing but in the opposite direction. 500 miles. Nothing changed. The scenery never changed.
What's in Sherman? "There's a Wendy's."
Since this is Audience Show and Tell, Dave asks "Do you have something to show or tell?" Gina has a small photo album of her Chinese hairless (a dog) dressed in different costumes. The dog's name is Preacher. We see a photo of Preacher in a baseball uniform, dressed in drag, as a patriot, and more. Hello, PETA?

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #2:
Adam Brewer from Hoboken, New Jersey. Adam's a concert promoter. He does a 30-band gig each year down in Austin, Texas. Ooh, Austin. Anywhere near Sherman? "No." I don't think I would admit it, either. What does the Wolfman Jack-sounding Adam have to show or tell? He has a cup from Yankee Stadium with a baseball inside. He also has a clip. The story: A few years ago while sitting in the right field bleachers of Yankee Stadium, Adam caught a David Justice 9th inning homerun in his beer cup which won the game. Yes, I know Adam didn't say whether it was a beer cup or soda cup, but sizing up Adam, I think it's a pretty good guess to say it was a beer cup. We see a clip of that moment and there you can clearly see Adam making the catch with his beer cup. Way to go, Adam.

AUDIENCE SHOW AND TELL #3:
Mackey Smith from Gastonia, North Carolina: Mackey is a college philosophy student. His favorite philosopher? St. Thomas Aquinas. And what is it that you like about Thomas Aquinas? Mackey thinks and says, "Uhhh, I like his philosophy." Watching Mackey, I felt like I was on Family Feud, saying "Good answer. Good answer." So what does Mackey have to show or tell? Mackey can play "Blue Danube" with ear pops. Dave admits to not knowing what "ear pops" are but is about to find out. Mackey hums the first few bars of "Blue Danube" then pops his ears 4 times: "Dum dum-dum dum-dum POP-POP POP-POP, Dum dum-dum dum-dum POPPOP POP-POP, etc."
I was impressed but what would happen next I found most interesting. Would Dave agree to shake the guy's hand after he popped his ears? Dave thanks Mackey for playing Audience Show and Tell and . . . . shakes his hand.

And that's how we play Audience Show and Tell.

We have another newborn on the Late Show! On Thursday, Audio engineer Tommy Yang and wife Debbie celebrated the birth of their daughter Ellina Li-ming. Congratulations, Tommy, Debbie, and welcome Ellina!

LATE SHOW UNFAIR EDIT: I missed it and it changed right before the show. Something to do with Bush, 100 problems, and it being a fact.

WILL IT FLOAT? Dave is afraid he is the only one who loves "Will It Float?" He asks Alan his feelings. Alan says he too loves Will It Float. Paul chimes in with his affection of the game. Dave admits to meeting many people on the street who say they hate it. Too bad, it's Dave's show and he finds it fascinating, so the game will continue.
Tonight's item: a ten pound box of dog bone biscuits. Paul says it will. Dave says it will float. I play in the shack in the back and say the same, "It will float." I figure the box will float and the biscuits will float. Together, the 10 pound box of dog biscuits will float. The girls drop the Will It Float item into the Will It Float tank and it . . . FLOATS!

TOP TEN: QUESTIONS RECEIVED BY THE TORO SNOW BLOWER HOTLINE
#10. "I'm blowing into it. Why won't it snow?"
#8. "Who do I call about reattaching my hand?"
#6. "This is Monica Lewinsky. Are you looking for a spokesperson."
#2. "Where exactly does Bush think he's getting the money to go to Mars?"

To close up the Top Ten, Paul and the CBS Orchestra play "The Lonely Bull" (for Toro). I used to have that song on my "Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass" album anthology.

Why does Dave so supportive of Will It Float? It's for reasons like the one stated in a letter he received recently. Dave reads:

"Dear Dave, I want to thank you. ‘Will It Float' saved my life. Before I had nothing. Then I tuned in and saw ‘Will It Float.' Now I have something to live for - to see if the thing will float.
Long time fan,
Bill Klein, Brooklyn, New York.
P.S. The chicks are hot."

GARY MULE DEER:
"I'm on the Atkins diet for 2 weeks - I lost 14 days."
Things never heard in Western South Dakota: "Honey, quick, Streisand is on CBS." "Let's ask the Maitre' D."
"Check mate." (I don't think he said this last nigh but I overheard it during his microphone check earlier in the day.)
Gary Mule Deer will be appearing Sunday with Johnny Mathis at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix, Arizona

ACT 5: On Cape, from "The View" and the host of "Millionaire," it's Meredith Vieira!

Before introducing Ms. Aguilera for her song, Dave reads another letter from a Will It Float fan.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA: From her Grammy nominated CD "Stripped," Christina performed "Walk Away."

Before closing the book on things, Dave reads another letter from an inmate at Rikers lauding the Will It Float and all that it has done for him. And we take a last look at the MONY temperature read: 1 degree.

And that was our show for Friday, January 16, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I'm watching the news and I see one of the Polar Bear Club nuts swimming in the ocean while the temperature hovers around 0 degrees. But is it so crazy? I remember hearing that if the air temperature is 0 degrees, and the water temperature no less than 32 degrees, the water actually feels warm once you're in. It's the getting in and getting out that is the hard part. It made sense, though it's something I'll never find out first hand.

The temperature and wind chill made it feel a dangerously 20 below today. So what if the Patriots were scheduled to play on a day like this? Would the NFL postpone the game? And if they didn't, is there a temperature in which the NFL would call off a game? I'm quite sure the network would want it played, but what about the health and safety of the players and fans? And would OSHA get involved, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration?

My NFL picks for this weekend:
Colts vs. the Patriots in New England - Colts.
Panthers vs. the Eagles in Philadelphia - Panthers.
I'm going with the underdogs! But before you run out and bet based on my prediction, be warned that I do not watch football as much as I once did. When I think of the Colts, I think of Tom Matte. When I think of the Panthers, I think of my junior high school team, the Pomona Panthers.

I've avoided it long enough. The Christmas tree comes down this weekend. I think this is why I travel upstate to cut down a fresh tree each year - so I can delay the pain of taking it down.

For your weekend discussion around the dinner table:
Should the Super Bowl be played on a Saturday? Argument for: The networks demand that the game be pushed later and later in the day to capitalize on primetime. In the east, the game begins around 6:30 PM. The game ends around 10:30. That's way too late to have a Super Bowl party on a Sunday. Make it Saturday and the parties are back on. Plus, on Sunday night after the game the network can have a Super Bowl Post-Game special with interviews with the winning team, remotes from the winning city, comedy about the game, music from the big stars and a recap of the highlights. It can be an elongated half time show. It would be two nights of Super Bowl coverage for the network instead of one. Arguments against: none.

Oh, I almost forgot: About the FOX network Chris Collinsworth, Troy Aikman, and Joe Buck football announcing team: They'll be broadcasting the Eagle/Panther game - During the post-game, look to see if both Chris and Joe still have their hands-free microphone in the forefront coming across the face causing a visual distraction instead of on the other side of their face.

And here is something else to look for. From Karun Mehta of Montreal, Canada:

"You're right, the Fox announcers were in the same order as they were the week before, and the microphones were on the same sides of their faces, and just as distracting. But I hardly noticed, because the 3 of them were wearing these hideous baby blue Fox Sports jackets I couldn't take my eyes off of. I had a jacket like that as a kid that my Mom made me wear, and I hated it!

So the two things to look for: The hands-free microphone coming across their face, and the children's winter coats they're wearing.

As I close up today's Wahoo Gazette, I'm watching Michael Jackson leaving the courthouse on the CNN. He's holding an umbrella. I believe this Michael Jackson is currently going through his "Mary Poppins" stage.

Enjoy your 3-day weekend.