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			Tuesday, January 13, 2004 Show #2105
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Jeff Daniels; Isiah Thomas; and The Shins. PLUS: Donald Trump’s Hair; What’s new with Baghdad Bob?; the LATE SHOW Unfair Edit; Is This Anything; a top ten list; and Rupert decides the ACT 1. “YOU’RE FIRED!” Dave likes saying it. He’s never had to really say it for real, but it’s fun to make pretend. IS DONALD TRUMP’S HAIR GETTING CRAZIER? It deserved another look. We saw it last night, and we decided to take another look tonight. Is Donald Trump’s Hair Getting Crazier? From last week’s CNN’s Paula Zahn Now, we see The Donald in all his glorious hair. There is a lot going on there! HAPPY NEWS AT THE LATE SHOW: Late Show Production Assistant Tara DeGeorge and Production Accountant Joe DeGeorge became proud first-time parents Monday with the birth of Joseph Phillip DeGeorge, Jr., weighing in at 6 lbs, 11 ounces. Congratulations, Tara and Joe, and welcome Joseph, Jr. BAGHDAD BOB: You remember him. He’s the Iraqi information minister who had absolutely no credible information. We captured him but let him go in a few days since he didn’t know anything. Well, he’s resurfaced and Dave saw him recently on the Abu Dhabi TV news channel in a promotional announcement. “You loved him during the war, with his outrageous claims about the U.S. losing despite all evidence to the contrary. Now catch him on the new Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf Show! Every week, the former Information Minister lies about current events, with episodes including: ‘Pete Rose Never Bet On Baseball,’ ‘Britney Spear Didn’t Get Married Or Have Her Marriage Annulled,’ and ‘Dennis Kucinich Will Be The Next President of the United States.’ The Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf Show. Be There!” "You’re fired!” LATE SHOW UNFAIR EDIT: Once again, the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Come to California. / Visit our special attractions / before / I / destroy / our state.” RUPERT AT THE HELLO DELI: We go over to Rupert’s on this ice cold evening. Has Rupert ever offered free hot drinks to the tourist pedestrians outside his store on chilly evenings such as this? “Uhh, no.” Dave thinks Rupert is missing out on a golden public relations opportunity here. Perhaps, but Rupert is taking advantage of whatever the Snickers people are offering. There’s the Snickers again, right out front for all to see. Is Rupert getting kickback for the product placement? Of course not! Although I wonder why the Snickers are only there on Tuesdays. Who does Rupert like in the Super Bowl? He’s picking the Philadelphia Eagles to win it all against the Colts. I wonder where Rupert’s Pennington Jets jersey is tonight? Dave asks, “So Rupert, do you know what we’re playing tonight?” Rupert hesitates, then mutters “I have no idea.” It doesn’t matter. Dave sends Rupert outside to find a contestant. He swims through the crowd till he finds someone pleasing to the eye. It’s Davis Lee Quick of San Francisco. Davis is studying psychology in San Francisco. And what does she plan to do with her psychology degree? “I want to someday teach biology.” That sounds like something somebody who majors in psychology would say. Dave says to Rupert, “Rupert, tell Davis what we’re doing tonight.” Rupert still doesn’t know, since we purposely never told him. Rupert hems and haws and hesitates and says, “Uhh, Beat the Clock?” Dave says, “Sure, why not? Put up the clock and let’s play ‘Beat the Clock.’” The clock starts and poor Davis Lee doesn’t know what to do. Rupert offers her a straw (low overhead) which she takes and throws at the camera. The clock still runs. Davis then takes a Snickers, unwraps it, and begins to eat. Time expires and sadly, Davis doesn’t get to stop the clock. But there are no losers on “Beat the Clock.” Girls? The LATE SHOW models bring in a Hello Deli deli platter. Admiring the platter, a delighted Dave says, “Could it be any more pink?” Unfortunately, I think Dave was referring to the cheese. IS THIS ANYTHING: It’s a guy riding on a tiny bicycle. Sure, that’s something, but there’s more. On his shoulders sits a lovely sidekick. Is this something? Sure it is! The bicycle was tiny! It’s the Bucky and Gigi Balancing Bicycle Act. TOP TEN: Signs Your Car Should Be Recalled General Motors is recalling over 800,000 cars to repair a steering defect which causes the car to lose power when you turn to the left. (“So the doctor said, ‘don’t turn that way.’”) #7. It was rated a ‘Best Buy’ by ‘Faulty Wiring Magazine.’ #5. Heater control is marked ‘low’,’ ‘high,’ and ‘SARS.’ #4. Page 74 of the owners’ manual advises: “Car is for display purposes only.” JEFF DANIELS: He’s the other half to Patricia Heaton’s The Goodbye Girl on TNT, premiering this Friday and playing all weekend. I’m starting to really enjoy Jeff Daniels’ visits to the show. He’s light and breezy and good with a story. His Christmas consisted of buying one really good gift for each family member, followed by a bunch of crap. Jeff realizes that although the quality of the gift is important, quantity may be more so. Jeff also enjoys traveling with the family in the “bus.” Instead of flying across the country, Jeff likes to drive the big R.V., which he recently upgraded to that of a bus. He really enjoys stopping at the truck stops and applying the air brakes. He makes the sound effect: Pssssst. And he loves ordering the diesel. There’s something about ordering diesel that makes a man walk different. He did have an accident with the bus not too long ago when he attempted to drive the 11 foot, 10 inch vertical bus under an 11 foot, 6 inch underpass. It was like ripping the lid off a tin can. It was a mess. Jeff Daniels in “The Goodbye Girl.” He plays the Richard Dreyfuss guy. ISIAH THOMAS: the new President and General Manager of the New York Knicks - 12-Time NBA All-Star. - 2 championships with the Detroit Pistons (1989, 1990) - NCAA Champion with the Indiana Hoosiers (1981) - Holds the NBA Finals single-game record for most points in one quarter with 25 vs. the Lakers. 6/19/88) - Detroit Pistons all-time scoring and assist leader - Member of the Basketball Hall of Fame - Named as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA history Before getting to the Knicks, Dave is curious about Isiah’s stay as head coach of the Indiana Pacers. I laughed when Isiah said “I was fired!” Isiah said the Pacers’ GM, the legendary Larry Bird wanted his friend to run the team, Rick Carlisle, someone Larry is more comfortable with. Dave was curious if Larry’s feelings toward Isiah as a former player influenced his decision to drop him as a coach. Isiah didn’t really answer. So, how about the Knicks? Isiah wants to return the prestige and stature to the Knicks. New York deserves a team they can be proud of. Within a few days after arriving in New York, Isiah worked out a deal to bring Brooklyn-born Stephon Marbury to the team. The city is high with excitement, but I’m afraid that although Stephon and the other deals will bring the Knicks closer to the playoffs, it moves the championship further away, what with salary caps, age, and contract constraints placed upon the team. It’ll be hard for the Knicks to get back where they belong, but in the Eastern Conference, anything can happen. Dave mentions the Knick fans who are booing Coach Don Chaney and chanting “Fire Chaney” during the games. Is he a goner? Isiah says no one deserves to be publicly humiliated that way and then goes on as to what needs to be done to get the Knicks back on the right track. After the winded response, Dave mutters, “So he’s done is what you’re saying.” Dave laughs as Isiah just smiles. Is coaching the Knicks in Isiah’s plans? Isiah says coaching the Knicks is not in his immediate future. He’s too busy at the moment with presiding and GM’ing the Knicks right now ACT 5: It’s the “Is This Anything” team each riding around on a little tiny bicycle. THE SHINS: From their highly acclaimed CD, Chutes Too Narrow, The Shins performed “So Says I.” Hmmm, the CD may be worth a listen. I liked them. And that was our show for Tuesday January 13, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA! As I arrive at work Wednesday morning, the back page of the Daily News headlines that Knick coach Don Chaney will be out and the new coach will be Mike Fratello. Who is Mike Fratello? He’s the guy who was in the Green Room last Wednesday eating Monti’s birthday cake with Paul Molitor, Dennis Eckersley, Kiva, and the Hula Hoop girl when Marv Albert was here. As he was gulping down cake, I remember saying, “He looks like a New York Knick coach!” There are two things I really enjoy about receiving e-mail: 1. I don’t try to answer them 2. I can cut and paste the good ones and put them in the Wahoo. It makes it appear as if I did a lot of work in the issue. I received this interesting and amusing e-mail from Steve Meeker of Montgomery, Texas concerning the Wahoo Gazette, Kankakee, and being an annoying dad. “I had a weird coincidence this weekend that will mean absolutely nothing to anyone except faithful readers of this column. My 19 year old daughter came home Friday with a small tattoo on her lower back. I wasn't thrilled, but I know that's what 19 year olds do these days. So to get even I decided to become an annoying dad. I downloaded and memorized the entire lyrics to “Lydia the Tattooed Lady,” a great song from an old Marx Brothers movie. I now bust out a few lyrics every time she comes in to the room. Very annoying, don't you agree? Now here comes the coincidence part. To my surprise, one of the lines in the song goes, "For a dime you can see Kankakee or Par-ee." I was reminded of your article in which you mentioned experiencing Kankakee twice in one afternoon. So in the process of being an annoying dad I bumped in to Kankakee! Had it not been for the Wahoo Gazette, this convergence would have drifted away unnoticed.” Thank you, Steve. And now for all you dads out there who have a daughter who just got a tattoo, the lyrics to “Lydia the Tattooed Lady.” Lyrics to "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady" Music by Harold Arlen and Lyrics by E.Y. Harburg Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. She has eyes that folks adore so, and a torso even more so. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo. On her back is The Battle of Waterloo. Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too. And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world, if you step up and tell her where. For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree, or Washington crossing The Delaware. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. When her muscles start relaxin', up the hill comes Andrew Jackson. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of them all. For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz, with a view of Niagara that nobody has. And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso. Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso. Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon. Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon. Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on. Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba. Here's her social security numba. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Champ of them all. She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet. The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat. And now the old boy's in command of the fleet, for he went and married Lydia! I said Lydia... (He said Lydia...) They said Lydia... We said Lydia, la, la! Learn the words and you too can become an annoying dad. And of course, if you have an annoying dad story, I’d love to hear it. The Wahoo Gazette – still unpierced, without a goatee, and tattoo-free. Jeff Daniels; Isiah Thomas; and The Shins. PLUS: Donald Trump’s Hair; What’s new with Baghdad Bob?; the LATE SHOW Unfair Edit; Is This Anything; a top ten list; and Rupert decides the ACT 1. “YOU’RE FIRED!” Dave likes saying it. He’s never had to really say it for real, but it’s fun to make pretend. IS DONALD TRUMP’S HAIR GETTING CRAZIER? It deserved another look. We saw it last night, and we decided to take another look tonight. Is Donald Trump’s Hair Getting Crazier? From last week’s CNN’s Paula Zahn Now, we see The Donald in all his glorious hair. There is a lot going on there! HAPPY NEWS AT THE LATE SHOW: Late Show Production Assistant Tara DeGeorge and Production Accountant Joe DeGeorge became proud first-time parents Monday with the birth of Joseph Phillip DeGeorge, Jr., weighing in at 6 lbs, 11 ounces. Congratulations, Tara and Joe, and welcome Joseph, Jr. BAGHDAD BOB: You remember him. He’s the Iraqi information minister who had absolutely no credible information. We captured him but let him go in a few days since he didn’t know anything. Well, he’s resurfaced and Dave saw him recently on the Abu Dhabi TV news channel in a promotional announcement. “You loved him during the war, with his outrageous claims about the U.S. losing despite all evidence to the contrary. Now catch him on the new Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf Show! Every week, the former Information Minister lies about current events, with episodes including: ‘Pete Rose Never Bet On Baseball,’ ‘Britney Spear Didn’t Get Married Or Have Her Marriage Annulled,’ and ‘Dennis Kucinich Will Be The Next President of the United States.’ The Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf Show. Be There!” "You’re fired!” LATE SHOW UNFAIR EDIT: Once again, the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger: “Come to California. / Visit our special attractions / before / I / destroy / our state.” RUPERT AT THE HELLO DELI: We go over to Rupert’s on this ice cold evening. Has Rupert ever offered free hot drinks to the tourist pedestrians outside his store on chilly evenings such as this? “Uhh, no.” Dave thinks Rupert is missing out on a golden public relations opportunity here. Perhaps, but Rupert is taking advantage of whatever the Snickers people are offering. There’s the Snickers again, right out front for all to see. Is Rupert getting kickback for the product placement? Of course not! Although I wonder why the Snickers are only there on Tuesdays. Who does Rupert like in the Super Bowl? He’s picking the Philadelphia Eagles to win it all against the Colts. I wonder where Rupert’s Pennington Jets jersey is tonight? Dave asks, “So Rupert, do you know what we’re playing tonight?” Rupert hesitates, then mutters “I have no idea.” It doesn’t matter. Dave sends Rupert outside to find a contestant. He swims through the crowd till he finds someone pleasing to the eye. It’s Davis Lee Quick of San Francisco. Davis is studying psychology in San Francisco. And what does she plan to do with her psychology degree? “I want to someday teach biology.” That sounds like something somebody who majors in psychology would say. Dave says to Rupert, “Rupert, tell Davis what we’re doing tonight.” Rupert still doesn’t know, since we purposely never told him. Rupert hems and haws and hesitates and says, “Uhh, Beat the Clock?” Dave says, “Sure, why not? Put up the clock and let’s play ‘Beat the Clock.’” The clock starts and poor Davis Lee doesn’t know what to do. Rupert offers her a straw (low overhead) which she takes and throws at the camera. The clock still runs. Davis then takes a Snickers, unwraps it, and begins to eat. Time expires and sadly, Davis doesn’t get to stop the clock. But there are no losers on “Beat the Clock.” Girls? The LATE SHOW models bring in a Hello Deli deli platter. Admiring the platter, a delighted Dave says, “Could it be any more pink?” Unfortunately, I think Dave was referring to the cheese. IS THIS ANYTHING: It’s a guy riding on a tiny bicycle. Sure, that’s something, but there’s more. On his shoulders sits a lovely sidekick. Is this something? Sure it is! The bicycle was tiny! It’s the Bucky and Gigi Balancing Bicycle Act. TOP TEN: Signs Your Car Should Be Recalled General Motors is recalling over 800,000 cars to repair a steering defect which causes the car to lose power when you turn to the left. (“So the doctor said, ‘don’t turn that way.’”) #7. It was rated a ‘Best Buy’ by ‘Faulty Wiring Magazine.’ #5. Heater control is marked ‘low’,’ ‘high,’ and ‘SARS.’ #4. Page 74 of the owners’ manual advises: “Car is for display purposes only.” JEFF DANIELS: He’s the other half to Patricia Heaton’s The Goodbye Girl on TNT, premiering this Friday and playing all weekend. I’m starting to really enjoy Jeff Daniels’ visits to the show. He’s light and breezy and good with a story. His Christmas consisted of buying one really good gift for each family member, followed by a bunch of crap. Jeff realizes that although the quality of the gift is important, quantity may be more so. Jeff also enjoys traveling with the family in the “bus.” Instead of flying across the country, Jeff likes to drive the big R.V., which he recently upgraded to that of a bus. He really enjoys stopping at the truck stops and applying the air brakes. He makes the sound effect: Pssssst. And he loves ordering the diesel. There’s something about ordering diesel that makes a man walk different. He did have an accident with the bus not too long ago when he attempted to drive the 11 foot, 10 inch vertical bus under an 11 foot, 6 inch underpass. It was like ripping the lid off a tin can. It was a mess. Jeff Daniels in “The Goodbye Girl.” He plays the Richard Dreyfuss guy. ISIAH THOMAS: the new President and General Manager of the New York Knicks - 12-Time NBA All-Star. - 2 championships with the Detroit Pistons (1989, 1990) - NCAA Champion with the Indiana Hoosiers (1981) - Holds the NBA Finals single-game record for most points in one quarter with 25 vs. the Lakers. 6/19/88) - Detroit Pistons all-time scoring and assist leader - Member of the Basketball Hall of Fame - Named as one of the 50 Greatest Players in NBA history Before getting to the Knicks, Dave is curious about Isiah’s stay as head coach of the Indiana Pacers. I laughed when Isiah said “I was fired!” Isiah said the Pacers’ GM, the legendary Larry Bird wanted his friend to run the team, Rick Carlisle, someone Larry is more comfortable with. Dave was curious if Larry’s feelings toward Isiah as a former player influenced his decision to drop him as a coach. Isiah didn’t really answer. So, how about the Knicks? Isiah wants to return the prestige and stature to the Knicks. New York deserves a team they can be proud of. Within a few days after arriving in New York, Isiah worked out a deal to bring Brooklyn-born Stephon Marbury to the team. The city is high with excitement, but I’m afraid that although Stephon and the other deals will bring the Knicks closer to the playoffs, it moves the championship further away, what with salary caps, age, and contract constraints placed upon the team. It’ll be hard for the Knicks to get back where they belong, but in the Eastern Conference, anything can happen. Dave mentions the Knick fans who are booing Coach Don Chaney and chanting “Fire Chaney” during the games. Is he a goner? Isiah says no one deserves to be publicly humiliated that way and then goes on as to what needs to be done to get the Knicks back on the right track. After the winded response, Dave mutters, “So he’s done is what you’re saying.” Dave laughs as Isiah just smiles. Is coaching the Knicks in Isiah’s plans? Isiah says coaching the Knicks is not in his immediate future. He’s too busy at the moment with presiding and GM’ing the Knicks right now ACT 5: It’s the “Is This Anything” team each riding around on a little tiny bicycle. THE SHINS: From their highly acclaimed CD, Chutes Too Narrow, The Shins performed “So Says I.” Hmmm, the CD may be worth a listen. I liked them. And that was our show for Tuesday January 13, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA! As I arrive at work Wednesday morning, the back page of the Daily News headlines that Knick coach Don Chaney will be out and the new coach will be Mike Fratello. Who is Mike Fratello? He’s the guy who was in the Green Room last Wednesday eating Monti’s birthday cake with Paul Molitor, Dennis Eckersley, Kiva, and the Hula Hoop girl when Marv Albert was here. As he was gulping down cake, I remember saying, “He looks like a New York Knick coach!” There are two things I really enjoy about receiving e-mail: 1. I don’t try to answer them 2. I can cut and paste the good ones and put them in the Wahoo. It makes it appear as if I did a lot of work in the issue. I received this interesting and amusing e-mail from Steve Meeker of Montgomery, Texas concerning the Wahoo Gazette, Kankakee, and being an annoying dad. “I had a weird coincidence this weekend that will mean absolutely nothing to anyone except faithful readers of this column. My 19 year old daughter came home Friday with a small tattoo on her lower back. I wasn't thrilled, but I know that's what 19 year olds do these days. So to get even I decided to become an annoying dad. I downloaded and memorized the entire lyrics to “Lydia the Tattooed Lady,” a great song from an old Marx Brothers movie. I now bust out a few lyrics every time she comes in to the room. Very annoying, don't you agree? Now here comes the coincidence part. To my surprise, one of the lines in the song goes, "For a dime you can see Kankakee or Par-ee." I was reminded of your article in which you mentioned experiencing Kankakee twice in one afternoon. So in the process of being an annoying dad I bumped in to Kankakee! Had it not been for the Wahoo Gazette, this convergence would have drifted away unnoticed.” Thank you, Steve. And now for all you dads out there who have a daughter who just got a tattoo, the lyrics to “Lydia the Tattooed Lady.” Lyrics to "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady" Music by Harold Arlen and Lyrics by E.Y. Harburg Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. She has eyes that folks adore so, and a torso even more so. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo. On her back is The Battle of Waterloo. Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too. And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world, if you step up and tell her where. For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree, or Washington crossing The Delaware. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia? Lydia The Tattooed Lady. When her muscles start relaxin', up the hill comes Andrew Jackson. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Queen of them all. For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz, with a view of Niagara that nobody has. And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz. You can learn a lot from Lydia! La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso. Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso. Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon. Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon. Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on. Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba. Here's her social security numba. La-la-la...la-la-la. La-la-la...la-la-la. Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia. Oh Lydia The Champ of them all. She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet. The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat. And now the old boy's in command of the fleet, for he went and married Lydia! I said Lydia... (He said Lydia...) They said Lydia... We said Lydia, la, la! Learn the words and you too can become an annoying dad. And of course, if you have an annoying dad story, I’d love to hear it. The Wahoo Gazette – still unpierced, without a goatee, and tattoo-free.


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