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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Top Ten Signs You're Watching A Bad Thanksgiving Day Parade
 Top Ten   
The Garfield balloon is anatomically correct
It was double booked with the Gay Pride Parade
On every float -- a sneezin' monkey
City forgot to stop traffic on parade route
Hillary Clinton still hasn't decided whether she'll be the grand marshall
Parade comes to an abrupt halt when tuba player inhales a pigeon
Even Dora the Explorer couldn't find a parking space. Hey, you gotta laugh or you'll go crazy, right New Yorkers?
Instead of shouting, "Ho Ho Ho!" Santa has long, violent coughing fits caused by years of smoking
It takes place on June 14th
There's a creepy guy who keeps asking you to inflate him
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Parade stands still; Spectators march

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Ten blocks in, parade has to be bailed out by the Federal Government

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The parade runs from 77th street to 34th street; Your seats are in Trenton

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The Spongebob balloon is giving the Spongefinger

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Instead of marching, auto executives fly by in private jets

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Horton the Elephant just pancaked your Buick

Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries
With an average two wounds per meal, does Kate Winslet belong in the kitchen?
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Top Ten Barack Obama Plans To Fix The Economy
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Okkervil River
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January 8, 2009
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