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Monday, September 08, 2008

Top Ten Signs You're Talking to a Fake Kim Jong-Il
 Top Ten   
Doesn't smile when you mention torturing dissidents
He's 6'5'', 250 pounds
Introduces himself by saying, "Hi, I'm Gary -- uh, crap, I mean Kim Jong-Il"
He seems Kimmy and Jongy, but not quite Illy
Your wife recognizes him as the Kim Jong-Il look-alike who stripped at her bachelorette party
Keeps using the phrase, "Chillax, bro"
He pays for drinks -- honestly, folks, when's the last time that man picked up a check?
Won't shut up about the new "90210"
He's only half insane
Keeps referring to himself as "just a hockey mom"
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Agreed to convert all non-essential nuclear facilities into Outback Steakhouses

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Next week, he's co-hosting "The Rachel Ray Show"

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Accidentally signed a check "Tim Jong-Il"

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Been months since he updated his facebook status

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Butterfly tattoo is on the wrong ankle

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Keeps saying "y'all"

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Every other sentence starts with, "Back when I was a Saddam look-alike..."

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Entire knowledge of Korea based on reruns of M*A*S*H

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Excuses himself to run to a high-level meeting with a fake Putin

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Pretty sure the real Kim Jong-Il didn't use a monocle

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