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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Top Ten Ways George W. Bush Can Improve His Approval Rating
 Top Ten   
Fewer embarrassing gaffes, more humiliating blunders
Replace "Hail To The Chief" with Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"
Send FEMA to rebuild Knicks
Change name to Barack W. Obusha
Show America you're not some stiff workaholic by blowing off work sometimes
Jump Snake River in rocket powered "Sky-Cycle"
Become trapped in an elevator until January 20, 2009
Less of this (VT: Bush dancing in New Orleans)
Ask father for tips on how he achieved his 31% approval rating
Hide Cheney's medication
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Wear leather jacket and ride motorcycle like the Fonz -- everyone loves him

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Drop fifteen pounds on Jenny Craig

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Erase deficit by going on "Deal or No Deal," finding briefcase containing 311 billion dollars

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Release detailed program outlining how he'll do better in his third term

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Only allow himself to be seen in pajamas like Hef

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Blame invasion of Iraq on his evil twin brother Jorge

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Remind voters his administration still isn't as screwed up as the Democratic party

Olympic Volleyball Gold Medalists, Kerri Walsh & Misty May-Treanor
In their full interview, the Olympic champs talk about Beijing, bikinis and Bush.
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August 27, 2008
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Augustana (II)
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Rogen's Jump
Just in time for the Olympics, a fully-clothed Seth Rogen tries to outjump the diving dogs.
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