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Friday, February 08, 2008

Top Ten Signs You Won't Be Winning A Grammy
 Top Ten   
Your CD is used to torture Gitmo detainees
Closest you've been to the music industry is when a drunk mistook you for Ruben Studdard
You're like Amy Winehouse, only less talented and crazier
There is no categroy for Outstanding Tambourine Solo
After your songs are downloaded, iTunes e-mails a receipt and an apology
Your single is 4 minutes of "Testing one, two..testing one, two, three..."
Up against Diddy for "Best Diddy"
Band's name: Mike & The Huckabees (We could also have accepted Mitt & The Romneys)
Your album just went aluminum -- Hi-ohhhh!
Who gives a crap? The Giants kicked Patriot Ass!
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Your girlfriend's name is "Gisele" (I'm sorry that's a sign you won't be winning the Super Bowl)

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All of your songs are about meat

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Your last album sold 4 copies

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Your vocal range is middle C to middle C sharp

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Your album was the first to be released by Al-Qaeda Records

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Your band is named Duran Duran Duran Duran Duran Duran Duran

Kate Winslet's Cooking Injuries
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Okkervil River
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January 8, 2009
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