CBS Logo

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Top Ten Signs A Police Officer Is Too Fat
 Top Ten   
Traded his police cruiser for a Good Humor truck
On drug busts he's the battering ram
Uses powdered sugar to dust for prints
Once tasered a guy at McDonald's for skimping on the special sauce
He gets winded during roll call
Known as "New York's Tubbiest"
Decided to join writers' strike just for the free donuts
His "nightstick" is a pepperoni -- come on, that's ridiculous!
Calls for backup to help him get out of his squad car
Looks in the mirror and says, "Ok, break it up"
·

He's got a KFC bucket list

·

He's so fat he's the good cop and the bad cop

·

His motto is "To Protect and To Serve...Lasagna"

·

Once said to a burrito, "You have the right to remain delicious"

·

Whenever he tells a perp to "Freeze!" gets a craving for "Chunky Monkey"

·

Can only chase criminals going downhill

·

Blew a stakeout by ordering Chinese food to the undercover van

·

Carries a handgun, a taser, and a fondue pot

·

Exhausted by physical activity, asks suspects to frisk themselves

·

Gets suspects to talk by threatening to sit on them

"Late Show" Rewind: Week of August 4 - 8, 2008
Dive into a week's worth of Late Show highlights with Seth, Penelope, Donald and more.
 Watch now
The Tony Award
After years of waiting, Tony finally receives an award...but for what?
 Watch now
August 8, 2008
 Watch now
We Are Scientists
 Watch now
Print Send to a friend

Advertisement