DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Friday, April 14, 2006
Top Ten Reasons I Love Being An Accountant
CPA training ensures I'm cool in high-pressure situations,
like calculating the tip at Applebee's
While other poor losers go off to work in jeans and
sneakers, I get to wear a suit
You haven't lived until you've filled out form 3277
What can I say I'm an adrenaline junkie
I'm on such good terms with the IRS, I haven't paid taxes
since '89
I like to lick the envelopes
Like the president, I only work one month a year
After April 15th, I spend the year eating Pringles and
watching rasslin'
Women don't expect much in the bedroom
I fudge a couple of numbers and the next thing you know
they're hauling Letterman's ass off to prison
·
The look on a client's face when I tell 'em their ass is
gettin' audited
·
After a few drinks, I start getting these mind-blowing
ideas for deductions
·
Office where I work has free instant soup packets
·
I got one of those chairs that spins around and around and
around and around and around
·
No one gives a crap that I'm all juiced up on steroids
·
Honestly, I can't think of a damn thing
Olympic Volleyball Gold Medalists, Kerri Walsh & Misty May-Treanor In their full interview, the Olympic champs talk about Beijing, bikinis and Bush.
