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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Monday, February 27, 2006
Top Ten H&R Block Excuses
"Instead of CPA training, employees got CPR training"
"Forgot to carry the one 32 million times"
"For years we've been secretly funding Hamas"
"H was out sick that day and R was on jury duty"
"We were using Martha Stewart's guy"
"Were testing the world's first accounting monkey"
"Come on, it's a couple of dollars. It's not like we
shot a guy in the face..."
"Hard to stay focused when you've been drinking since
April 16th"
"Thirty-two million dollars?! We lose that much on a
good day"
"Hoping for hot make-up sex with the IRS"
·
"We're not good with all that numbers stuff"
·
"Gretzky's wife convinced us to put a couple Mil on
Bode Miller"
·
"Tax code is so confusing, you practically need a
degree in accounting to understand it"
·
"Could have sworn hookers were deductible"
·
"Got swept up in the rebellious, fast-paced
accountant lifestyle"
·
"Chairman Henry Bloch has been acting odd ever since
he started dating Katie Holmes"
·
"Oh, like you never cheated on your taxes?"
Olympic Volleyball Gold Medalists, Kerri Walsh & Misty May-Treanor In their full interview, the Olympic champs talk about Beijing, bikinis and Bush.
