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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Top Ten Secrets to Winning The Miss USA Pageant Presented By Miss USA Chelsea Cooley
  
Choose an inexpensive evening gown--you'll have money left to bribe the judges.
Watch what Kirstie Alley eats--do the opposite.
Why put vaseline on your teeth? It's vase-licious!
Pretty much just be hotter than the other 50 girls.
Your vow to make liposuction more affordable.
Three words: tweeze, tweeze, tweeze.
Visualize your future--one year as Miss USA, ten years working boat shows.
Ignore distracting phone calls from Pat O'Brien.
Give Miss New York USA $500 to arrange "accidents" for your competitors.
Focus on your ultimate goal: an appearance on Jay Leno.
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