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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Top Ten Ways Airlines Are Cutting Back
Pilots have to pay for their inflight cocktails.
Ticket agents urging travelers to stay home.
To maximize space, seats no longer recline a luxurious inch-and-a-half.
Oxygen mask compartments replaced with video poker screens.
Instead of complimentary pillows, wadded-up clothing
pulled out of checked luggage.
Difference between first class and coach? A bite-size 3
Musketeers bar.
From now on, planes will taxi from one destination to
another on the interstate.
I don't know, but how hard is it to open them peanuts, am
I right people?
In case of water landing, your only flotation device is
the fat guy in 16F.
Inflight "movie" is home video of the pilot
"Gettin' It On".
·
Smaller passengers will be asked to sit in the overhead compartment.
·
Dinner entrees made from whatever the crew scraped off the runway.
·
By the time the towel gets back to your row, it's not hot anymore.
·
In-flight "Air Phone" only connects you to the
passenger across the aisle.
·
First class: recirculated air. Coach: jet exhaust fumes.
Robin Williams The funny man takes a look at recent events at the Republican National Convention.
