DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is On Steroids
His science fair project demonstrates ways to get around
urine tests.
Explanation for his suddenly enhanced strength:
"Uh...I'm Spider-Man?"
Drinks his milk and then eats the glass.
His life-long dream is to run for Governer of California.
During game of "Got Your Nose," tore Uncle
Paul's face right off his head.
For Christmas, he's giving everyone diamonds he made by
squeezing lumps of coal.
He goes outside to ride his bike--five minutes later he
calls from Mexico.
Instead of girls, he's constantly on the phone with Balco
Founder Victor Conte.
His adrenal glands are the size of billiard balls.
Last year she was the Prom Queen. This year--Prom King.
·
Never asks to borrow car because he can run 50 miles per hour.
·
He watches Incredible Hulk rerun, says, "I gotta get
whatever he's using."
·
Has several pieces of chemistry lab equipment autographed
by Jason Giambi.
·
His yearbook photo resembles the third guy from the left
on the evolutionary scale.
·
When you buy him a puppy, he says "That's not one of
them drug-sniffing dogs, is it?"
·
You won't give him the car keys, so he picks up the car
and takes it.
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of August 4 - 8, 2008 Dive into a week's worth of Late Show highlights with Seth, Penelope, Donald and more.
