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TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Top Ten John Kerry Excuses
Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't
get flu shots.
Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.
Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo
mama is so fat" jokes.
The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.
"Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."
Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.
Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.
Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.
Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.
Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.
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Shouldn't have spent October curled up watching Sex and
the City DVD's.
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Dumb voters who went to touch screen voting booths and
tried to withdraw cash.
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Thought election day was December 2nd.
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Overestimated how many voters want a windsurfing president.
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I flipped when I should have flopped.
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Instead of campaign commercials, should've just released a
sex tape.
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Who cares--I'm full of ketchup money.
Katie Couric Post-Palin For the first time, Katie Couric discusses her interview with Sarah Palin.
