DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Monday, October 04, 2004
Top Ten Cool Things About Sharing A Cell With Martha Stewart
Instead of smelling like urine, cell now smells like urine
and lilac.
Watching her start the day with 75 one-armed push-ups.
Much easier to conceal razor blades in handmade buckwheat pillows.
Nothing like homemade butterscotch cookies after a lice check.
Hearing the comical sounds Letterman makes during conjugal visits.
Says she's got a hot insider tip on how to get extra
pudding in the mess hall.
Her experience throwing silverware at people makes her an
asset in prison riots.
You get a huge boost in street cred by mastering tricky
napkin folds.
Offered me 300 shares of stock in exchange for a pack of Winstons.
Amusing to hear Martha yell during shower fight,
"It's not a good thing, bitch."
·
Honey-almond soap bars make shower beatings far more enjoyable.
·
No files hidden inside, but the cakes she has mailed to
her are top-notch.
·
Instead of cigarettes, main prison contraband is the much
healthier cilantro.
·
She has a host of pashmina shawls that go great with an
orange jumpsuit.
·
Her interior-design expertise makes an 8-by-12 foot cell
feel like it's 9-by-14.
·
Once you get out, she can totally hook you up with a job
at Kmart.
Katie Couric Post-Palin For the first time, Katie Couric discusses her interview with Sarah Palin.
