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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Monday, September 27, 2004
Top Ten George W. Bush Debate Strategies
Ask the question, "We've never had a horse-faced
president so why start now?"
Instead of witty retorts, have secret service wrestle
Senator Kerry to the ground.
Use Kerry's long-winded answers to take much needed
bathroom breaks.
Hope one of them hurricanes cancels the debate.
Instead of water, fill Kerry's mug with Red Bull and vodka.
Find time to work in joke prop--giant waffle.
Moving his lips to pretend microphone isn't working.
Handle it same way he handled national guard duty--don't
show up.
If Kerry makes a good point, distract him with some chaw
spit in the eye.
Point out Senator Kerry's mispronunciation of the word "nucular."
·
Try to avoid that whole "everyone in the world wants
to destroy America because of me" topic.
·
Get moderator to ask about subject he knows a lot about,
like cartoons and tacos.
·
Appear smart by using long, made up words like "pucilious."
·
Promise to be wrong less if re-elected.
·
Any time Kerry makes a good point, announce the capture of
Osama Bin Laden.
Katie Couric Post-Palin For the first time, Katie Couric discusses her interview with Sarah Palin.
