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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Top Ten Real Reasons John Kerry Is Running For President
  
To bring renewed tedium and uncertainty to the Democratic party
Vows to be the greatest horse-faced President since Polk
Couldn't live with himself if he didn't hold a higher office than Schwarzenegger
Needs an excuse to get out of a wedding in February
Get elected, eat a ton of waffles, become the fattest President
Long days on the campaign trail beats sitting around being nagged by the wife to put away the socks
An unusually persuasive horoscope told him he should
Did you know if the President kills some guy in a bar fight the FBI will make it cool?
A leader who supports both sides of every issue is a friend to all Americans
Show the world not all Democrats are ass-grabbing womanizers
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