DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Top Ten Things New Yorkers Can Do To Reduce Noise
If you plan a drive-by shooting, you must use a silencer
Don't scream because you see a rat; only scream if a rat
bites you
If you see someone with the hiccups, kill 'em
Use gentle whisper when telling someone to go screw themselves
Check into a hotel instead of having sex in the alley
Elect a mayor who'll let people smoke indoors again
Tell construction workers, "Turn off that damn jackhammer!"
Quietly remove jackhammer from your ass
Fewer angry beatings - - more stabbings
Put Regis on decaf
·
Replace blaring police sirens with sound of little kitties purring
·
Instead of screaming for help, encourage those in need to
fend for themselves
·
Soundproof Ed Sullivan Theater to contain thunderous gales
of laughter
Katie Couric Post-Palin For the first time, Katie Couric discusses her interview with Sarah Palin.
