DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Monday, March 22, 2004
Top Ten Ways Dennis Kucinich Can Still Be The Next President
Of The United States presented by Dennis Kucinich
"Keep doing what I'm doing -- I'm winning, right?"
"Constitution is amended stating presidents must be
35 or older, a natural-born citizen and named 'Dennis'."
"Act like a boob so people will perceive me as more Presidential."
"You want crazy campaign promises? Fine! If I'm
elected everybody gets a million bucks."
"Enter and win next 'American Idol'."
"Announce your running mate will be a plate of fudge
-- people love fudge."
"Just wait till I unleash my new campaign slogan:
'Kucizzle in the Hizzle!'"
"According to the order of presidential succession,
if George W. Bush were to resign today, along with Dick
Cheney and about 300 other people, the presidency passes to
a congressman from Ohio."
"Get the governors of every state to rig the election."
"I'm praying for a sex scandal."
·
I was Mayor of Cleveland. So I can make all of America
just like Cleveland.
·
I'm catching a plane tomorrow to go over and capture Osama myself.
·
Emphasize that with the help of Frodo and Aragorn, we can
defeat the forces of Sauron.
·
Propose that both the red and blue states get makeovers to
salmon and periwinkle.
Hangin' and Bangin' with Kate Hudson Kate and Dave share a kiss and a New Year's resolution.
